On the Journey...

In the year of our Lord 2012...

2012-01-05T14:50:00.000-06:00

... I resolve to ___________.

I made that list-the obligatory new year resolution/goal list- in my journal the other night. I think that similar lists are often more about past failure than future hope, at least for me. But, as I've heard many people say, I need 2012 to be a good year, and want to focus more on hope than on failure.

I realize that I bear great responsibility in that, not only with actions, but attitude. While there are always things beyond my control,I continue to struggle with being reactive instead of proactive. I struggle with being more cynical than joyful. There's no freebies in this life, except grace, and no entitlements, not even for grace. This year, I want to realize the daily grace that God has given to live life fully and well, and not only for my own sake, but for those I love and those I will grow to love.

I've been deeply impacted by two books, already, in the infant stages of this year... both point in the same direction: Life is bigger than me and my daily battles. Life is a gift to be thankful for. Life is a resource to be expended for an eternal purpose. They both speak to and spur me to a hope of something better for this year. And they both bear the poignant marks of being more than just random reading suggestions from my family members.

Book One: One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are . My sister-in-law and I were discussing how profound an impact the truths of this book (could/should) have on our lives and perspectives. She suggested I read it. I read two chapters right away, and would have read more if she didn't take it home. I look forward to reading more. Ann Voskamp, the author, also has a blog that has had my mind and heart engaged for the last few days since I discovered it.

Book Two: The Tangible Kingdom: Creating Incarnational Community-The Posture and Practice of Ancient Church Now. This past fall, my dad suggested that I check out the Adullam community in Denver, the leaders of which collaborated to write this and other books. They are seeking to engage Denver and live the reality of the Kingdom by creating authentic, intentional and transformational community. I'm halfway through this book and it has my mind buzzing about what could be ahead in this new year for my life in Denver.

_____________________

Back to 'the list': it's a pretty balanced list of the physical-relational-spiritual components of my life- pretty normal by new years resolution standards. Some health issues have me thinking a lot more about exercise, eating well, and being, generally, a better steward of my body. Part of my goals related to that involve doing some road races and hopefully a half marathon this year.

The marathon/running analogy is more than just a physical or weight-directed goal, though. I know that I have great intentions but don't always finish well. I sprint out of the blocks well, but can be easily diverted and discouraged by adversity. It symbolizes a desire to begin something significant and see it through to the finish.

So...here's to finishing well in 2012, in every aspect and pursuit. Talk is cheap, so I encourage all who read to ask me how I'm doing and to walk/run, literally and figuratively, with me until goals are reached and authentic and successful change is realized.

A Prodigal blogger returns with randomness

2011-10-15T12:24:00.000-05:00

I guess I'm not even sure when I blogged last. August 29th isn't that bad, I guess.

I had some random pictures to share so I thought I'd blog.

Snow has returned to the mountains. In fact 3 or 4 ski resorts have already opened. Crazy. (What's crazier, to me, is that people were still skiing in places when I moved to Colorado in late June/early July)

_______________________________
I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do for winter exercise once the snow starts flying. I don't think I'm diehard enough to lace up the running shoes when the temps dip below 40. Maybe not even when they are more regularly below 50. My lungs burn with the cold.

I was out last night, though, and was running with Mat Kearney pumping through my headphones when I heard a squeaking noise. It was dusk and I wasn't in coyote territory, and regardless, it wasn't really a coyote-type sound. (I've had that experience, the coyote growl... and it's not very good/fun to hear)

It was this... actually about 3 of them within 10 feet of each other.

I was surprised I could even hear it squeaking with my headphones in. Weirdness.
________________________________
And finally, most of my omelet-making adventures have simply been round-about excursions in making, finally, scrambled eggs. I finally did some 'research' on YouTube and realized that I misunderstood the technique and the need for oil and/or butter to extricate the omelet from the pan.

So, armed with my new education, I went to work. 3 smashed eggs, ham, cheese and some heat later, I produced this...

It was under-seasoned at first, but I was satisfied with the overall outcome and ready to continue to experiment and perfect the art.

Old dog, new tricks, full stomach.

Bring on the college football!

The Wonders of Technology...

2011-08-29T22:38:00.001-05:00

I've had the chance to Skype with all my immediate family in the last couple weeks. It's obviously not as ideal as being with them, but helps bridge the gap. I got to talk to 'the nieces' tonight.

Bailey tried a series of submission holds on Daddy.

Bailey also did a little choreographed 'peek-a-boo,' turning away and then adding a turn and tilt for the camera. Pretty advanced moves for almost 9 months.

Eyla tried to hide but doesn't know my superior Skype-aided 'hide-n-seek' skills. She didn't have a chance.

Mommy even got the heads-up via cell phone that her favorite brother-in-law was 'in the house.'

(Even if there was something like Skype when I was her age, I would have broken my little finger in a rotary phone dial trying to call someone to tell them about it. )

Yep... thankful for modern and visual ways to span the distance.

Cure for depression...

2011-08-15T21:07:00.000-05:00

I remember reading Rich Mullins' biography (one of my favorites) 5-6 years ago. A couple things stuck out to me... and these are rough paraphrases, mind you.

1) Rich said he didn't worry about eating stuff like french fries b/c God would take him, whenever He saw fit, whether he ate healthy or not. ( And God did take him, a la Keith Green-another great biography- suddenly and without warning)

I use this as fascetious response to 'detractors' of fast-food diets

2) Rich talked about dealing with depression at different points in his life. And one of the best remedies for depression, he shared, was to get outside, take a walk around the block, and be reminded of how big the trees are, and how much bigger the world is than our problems, and, consequently, how much bigger God is.

So... I've been living under some storm clouds since last Thursday. It's a classic example of things not going as I had hoped or planned, and the result was a derailment of my mental and emotional focus.

So... I needed some 'elevation therapy' and perspective, and so I went hiking...

The mountains have a way of putting me ( and my worries) in perspective. And for those moments when I doubt moving from seeming stability to (at least perceived/felt) instability, they are part of a series of reminders that I'm where I need to be right now.

And I found a good place to journal some thoughts on the back end of 6 miles of hiking...

and then...
I went to church, and the pastor miraculously 'preached right at me' and reminded me to get over myself and get busy doing what God wants me to do for His kingdom. And, in that, I'll find joy and purpose.

And, for the third week in a row, we sang a song with some reference to Psalm 121 ( "I lift my eyes to the mountains; where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth...)

And I just smiled and shook my head, and realized that I can't escape.

And I'm glad that I can't.

And I'll probably need reminders of all this stuff tomorrow, or next week. And I'm learning that God is good at reminding, whether I/we like it or not.

And I'm thankful, in my instability, that the mountains are so close to remind me where my Help is found.

And if I start one more sentence with the word, "And," I realize that I'll lose all the good-will of my blog readership...

(And) so, I'll stop... and encourage you to eat french fries (everything in moderation, right?) and take a walk outside.

The craziest lunch ever...

2011-08-02T21:54:00.001-05:00

What is big, white, and goes, "crunch, splash" ????

The answer...

A big sedan, driven by a lady into the ornamental pond near the office building where I am working.

I was eating lunch at an outdoor picnic table when I heard a loud crunch. I figured it was some construction guys working on a parking lot nearby. Whatever the noise was made me jump.

As I turned to see what the noise was, I saw a car slowly rolling down the bank and into a pond outside the office building. (you don't see that every day) It floated to the middle and then started to sink. I jumped up instantly in surprise, unsure of what to do. I started toward the pond, scared out of my wits. But seeing some guys closer, and starting to take action to help the driver, I ran back to the picnic table to get my phone and call 911.

My adrenaline was pumping pretty hard as I wondered what would happen if the lady had a seizure or heart attack and was helpless to get out of a sinking car. One of the guys waded in to help her, and we finally saw her moving around. I nervously relayed the information to the dispatcher even as the 'wader' opened the door and helped the lady to shore. (thankfully, the pond was only 3-4 feet deep). The dispatcher lady even seemed a little incredulous.

Without knowing for sure, I think the lady was pulling across a couple lanes of traffic, needed to punch it (busy lunch drivers abound), and probably had the accelerator stick. Her car jumped the curb, struck a tree (the loud crunch) and then proceeded slowly down the bank and into the water.

Anyway... I won the award for best 'lunch story' and the entire office building took turns going out to see the craziness.

Some of the responses of the eventual spectators were less than kind, sadly. Even as crazy as it was, many joked about how dumb the lady must have been. I actually felt bad for having told anyone what was going on. Obviously, they would have found out, but their responses were hateful. I felt sorry for her. I can't imagine the embarrassment, let alone the trauma of being in a car submerging in water.

I'm hoping for less 'exciting' lunches from here on out.

Not sure how I forgot this...

2011-07-19T15:11:00.000-05:00

My previous post and listing of new discoveries should have included this magic elixir.

Talk about being tempting to use hyperbole... I use this stuff on about anything. It's especially good with tuna, quesadillas, eggs, or the source of my inspiration and discovery- Chipotle burritos.

In the absence of 'Welcome Wagon'...

2011-07-19T13:15:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I've moved to a new city.

I remember, many years ago, when our family moved to Elkhart, IN, a woman came to our house with a basket of goodies and info about our new town. She was part of a group helping to assimilate people into their new surroundings as quickly and smoothly as possible. I'm not sure how she found out we were there. I think, nowadays, that would be sort of creepy and disconcerting.

Being new to Denver, I haven't had a specific or official 'welcome wagon' lady come to my door (thankfully) but I have had trusted and good friends, as well as new ones, help make my transition as smooth as possible. I've been here over a month now, and am continuing to settle in. I'm thankful for a new beginning, and many prayerful and caring supporters to walk with me through the new-ness.

I've made some cool discoveries (and had needed reminders) in my time here... some that may be applicable or usable for others, some that may be appreciated only by me. But, for the sake of 'paying forward' the blessings I've received, I share them with you, in no particular order.

1. Prescription sunglasses- I've learned that the sunlight of high-elevation cities is intense and blinding. I recently purchased a pair of prescription eye protection and have loved having them, especially when I don't have to wear contacts all-day, every day.

2. Endomondo - I'm not even sure where I found this application, but it's revolutionizing my exercise/running routine (And causing hyperbolic praise to issue from my fingertips). Endomondo is one of several exercise tracking software programs that allow you to track your exercise route and monitor your speed-distance-calorie burn. It's fairly easy to use, and a free app on most smart phones.
Another feature that I like is that it tracks what music you are listening to on each point of your exercise route. That's not a necessary feature, obviously, but it's intriguing to me.

3. Biking/running/hiking trails - I am a few hundred yards from arteries of trails, both paved and natural, that wind their way all over this area, and even into the foothills. I have run more, and more regularly, than I have in several years. Thanks to said trails, and the encouragement of Endomondo, drinking more water (less pop), volleyball, eating out less, and the stress and uncertainty of a new place, I have lost almost 15 lbs.

4. Larkburger - Seared Ahi Tuna burger... I need say no more.

5. Blind Pilot - I was able to attend the recent Solshine Music Festival in Winter Park and was introduced to a band that I really like the sound of. They have a great mix of instrumentation, great harmonies, and a laid-back and easy sound to enjoy as you are lounging in the mountains.

6. Redrocks Church - I'm sure you've had this experience- you sit down in a church service and you hear a song and/or sermon that communicate 1) that you need to be there, and 2) God knows where you're at and what you need to hear/internalize/apply. The "I am Second" series has been exactly that for me. I've been able to attend 3 out of 4 weeks of this series, and made a point to listen to the fourth week online.

7. Volleyball in Wash Park - I'm learning that Denver is an 'outdoor activity' town. Granted, Denverites don't deal with 110* temps like Wichita, but everyone is outside running, biking, frisbee-ing, or just sitting and reading. I've been graciously included in a group that play volleyball outside every Sunday afternoon. It's even how I spent my 4th of July. I love it. Great fellowship-great exercise-great fun.

8. D'Deli (Golden, CO)- Recommended by friends, and finally enjoyed with some different friends, this little deli offers a wide spectrum of sandwich combinations and flavors. My friend Randy and I split halves on these two sandwiches, pictured below:

Maui Waui: Ham, Bacon, Cream Cheese, Pineapple, Lettuce, Tomato, Jalapeno, Teriyaki Glaze.

Jackwaggon:Peanut Butter, Jelly, Honey, Sriracha Hot Sauce, Bacon, Fried Onions, Sun Flower Seeds, Pineapple, Jalapenos, Banana Peppers.

9. Trendy Glasses - There's a new advertising campaign (for Eyeglass World, or something) that I saw earlier this summer on t.v. in the Wichita area. A girl is talking about how she has her work glasses, and then her glasses that make people notice her. I got my eyes checked before my big move, and thankfully discovered that my prescription had not changed. However, after two years of outdoor work, I needed some new and 'less grungy' glasses.
Here's my new 'look at me' specs: (and a close up of my facial pores and bloodshot eyes)

10. Jehovah Jireh - This whole transition thing is a huge leap of faith for me. I realize, even when others have graciously held back from saying it, that it's not very wise (from a human perspective) to move to a new place without a job nailed down, or a place to live, or... other 'necessary' things. But, I am living proof that God has and is providing. That said, I have my moments and days of anxiety and questions and impatience. But I can't get away from the fact that at strategic times, in clear ways, God has provided people, housing, finances, food, and even a timely song or sermon or reminder from Scripture... 'Do not worry... your Heavenly Father knows that you need them... But seek first His kingdom, and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.' (Matt 6)

Pillar of Fire

2011-06-14T21:52:00.000-05:00

Today, I had moments of feeling like this...

(Staring over the edge of a 400 ft drop to the Zambezi River, preparing to jump)

I don't know that I've ever been so scared in my life, as that day in Zambia. It was a surreal moment of numb obedience and thoughts that ran something like: 'what am I doing?'

And, on the edge of a different, yet significant 'leap,' I wouldn't say I'm scared, but I would admit a good deal of anxiety. And I've had some of the same 'what am I doing?' thoughts racing through my head.

I leave for Denver tomorrow with a lot more unknowns than knowns, it seems. I finally took a jog tonight to clear my head, and enjoyed a timely infusion of truth from one of my favorite theologians and musical counselors.
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Canaan Bound (click to listen)

Sarah, take me by my arm
Tomorrow we are Canaan bound
Where westward sails the golden sun
And Hebron's hills are amber crowned
So bid your troubled heart be still
The grass, they say, is soft and green
The trees are tall and honey-filled
So, Sarah, come and walk with me
Like the stars across the heavens flung
Like water in the desert sprung
Like the grains of sand, our many sons
Oh, Sarah, fair and barren one
Come to Canaan, come
I trembled at the voice of God
A voice of love and thunder deep
With love He means to save us all
And Love has chosen you and me
Long after we are dead and gone
A thousand years our tale be sung
How faith compelled and bore us on
How barren Sarah bore a son
So come to Canaan, come
Where westward sails the golden sun
And Hebron's hills are amber crowned
Oh, Sarah, take me by my arm
Tomorrow we are Canaan Bound

Pillar of Fire (no audio available, sorry)
There, in the distance--a pillar of fire
Rumbling like thunder in a dream
It roars among the pines along the lines
Of the great Mississippi

It scatters all the cattle, and rattles the trees
It skids across the prairie by the moon
It sings like a choir, this pillar of fire
And the name of God is the burning tune

I can see it whirling, swirling,
Spinning all around
Upward, onward, homeward bound
Oh, Jesus, lead me through the night,
Pillar of Fire

On through the passes of the mountains it goes
As bouldered and broken as my heart
I shiver and cry and I watch as it winds
To the deepest and the darkest parts

I can see it whirling, swirling,
Spinning all around
Now upward, onward, now homeward bound
Oh, Jesus, hold me through the night,
Pillar of Fire
Where, Oh Lord, are you leading?
I can get so scared in the night
My feet are cut and bleeding
With every step I feel less alive

Oh, but Pillar of Fire, you blazed this trail
You've been there every step along the road
From a barn in Bethlehem to Hell and back again
You blazed the trail that leads me home

I can see it whirling, swirling,
Spinning all around
Now upward, onward, now homeward bound
Oh, Jesus, hold me through the night,
Pillar of Fire

On to the ocean I follow it down
Where it sizzles and boils in the waves along the sound
Oh, Jesus, lead me to your shore
Pillar of Fire
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I was also encouraged by a good dose of Isaiah today...

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
   do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
   I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

41:13-16
¹³ For I am the LORD your God
   who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
   I will help you.
¹⁴ Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob,
   little Israel, do not fear,
for I myself will help you,” declares the LORD,
   your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
¹⁵ “See, I will make you into a threshing sledge,
   new and sharp, with many teeth.
You will thresh the mountains and crush them,
   and reduce the hills to chaff.
¹⁶ You will winnow them, the wind will pick them up,
   and a gale will blow them away.
But you will rejoice in the LORD
   and glory in the Holy One of Israel.

and finally... my favorite...
Isaiah 40:25-31

²⁵ “To whom will you compare me?
   Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.
²⁶ Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
   Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
   and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
   not one of them is missing.

²⁷ Why do you complain, Jacob?
   Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the LORD;
   my cause is disregarded by my God”?
²⁸ Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.

______________________________

Back to the bridge in Zambia...I can not describe to you the feeling of relief and exhilaration when you feel the bungee pull tight and throw you back into the air. All my nervous fear was erased seconds after jumping. (the 5 second free-fall did SEEM like an eternity, though)

I'm looking forward to writing the blog post equivalent of that exhilarating and thankful relief in the (hopefully) not-too-distant future. I'm looking forward to adding cool stories to my autobiography.

But, first, I need to pack.

The Journey enters new territory...

2011-06-01T22:18:00.000-05:00

I have recently returned from an almost 2-week trip, hitting 3 new states that I've never been to before...Washington, Montana, and Wyoming, and a quick and circuitous route through British Columbia and Alberta. And being that they are 3 of the most beautiful states and 2 of the most picturesque provinces that I've ever seen, I'm wondering why I hadn't visited them earlier.

While I flew from Denver to Spokane on the second leg of the trip, my friend's car notched 3700 miles by trips end. Yep... lots of territory covered, many pictures taken, and unforgettable memories made. Some of my favorite pictures are below.

The initial reason for my trip was officiating a wedding in Spokane.

The groom's family and male side of the wedding party got to stay in a cool log chalet up near Mt. Spokane. It was an amazing first exposure to Washington for me, complete with a moose sighting the last night.

From Spokane, I went to Seattle (another first) and enjoyed a few days in a beautiful city. I enjoyed it with some of my best Kansas friends and their daughter.

The stereotypical rain of the northwest finally showed itself on our trip from Seattle to Vancouver. We didn't spend as much time seeing the sights due to a soaking, cold downpour, but did enjoy a Japanese Isakaya dining experience at a 'community table' with a french couple from Quebec City, an Australian 'casanova' trying to wine-and-dine a Japanese college student, and another couple who never said a word to us. No pictures were taken, unfortunately, but the conversation was good for international relations.

The 12-hr trip from Vancouver to Lake Louise was an exhausting and, again, rain and snow-soaked experience. And while Lake Louise was still fairly ice-covered, I enjoyed the opportunity to see an area famous for its beauty. Here's a couple pics from along the way...

After a quick trip through Banff, Calgary and into Montana, we hit some of the most ruggedly beautiful country, and my favorite of the trip.

Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks deserved more time than we were able to give them, but even a day was enough to give a good taste of some amazing territory. We saw a lot of wildlife, and I am now a big fan of the Tetons. (someone told me last night that they are the most photographed mountain range in the world... that's an unconfirmed statement, but one that I don't have trouble believing after seeing them).

Jackson Hole gave us a taste of the 'wild west.' We hit it on Saturday night as the town was starting to rev up for the Memorial Day weekend. We missed the "Running of the Horses" but got a picture of the Elk Arches and enjoyed a little country band during dinner.

The final leg of the trip was a quick overnight stop through Denver. We book-ended our trip with excellent sashimi and sushi at the Sushi Den. And Little Man Ice Cream is a must-stop (please excuse the finger on my phone camera)

Great times and life-long memories...

And my personal journey enters new territory as well... details to come. All prayers for wisdom accepted and appreciated.

Random Firsts

2011-04-29T22:15:00.000-05:00

My first guacamole-making experience...

I'll call it a success.

My first up-close 'face to face' badger sighting...

I'll call it surreal and unexpected.

My first attempt at discharging mowed grass and dirt directly into my eye sockets...

I'll call it annoying and my latest evidence of why I hate wind in Kansas.

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise...

2011-04-13T19:45:00.000-05:00

I was attempting to cut my hair last night. It was late, and I was going to do a quick 1/4'' trim on my head and beard.

It was going swimmingly along the side of my head and I transitioned to the top. I made a couple swipes and was moving across my head from right to left. While going for a 'center cut,' a strange thing happened... what looked like the 1/4 " clipper guard ( which I knew was only my imagination) fell into the trash can with my shorn locks. The stranger part of that is that my clipper-holding hand continued it's shearing motion before I could confirm whether my imagination was, indeed, reality.

The result was all too realistic...

I never got overly angry. I think I was a little stunned.

Insert Gomer Pyle's Famous line...

Or, to quote Chevy Chase in "Christmas Vacation"...

It took me two seconds to realize that I had zero options. I was going to have to 'summer-cut' before summer. (Fortunately, I have avoided such mishaps during the bitter cold months of working outdoors)

I think I'll keep the beard long for a couple days and impersonate Jeff Bridges character from Iron Man.

What's life without surprises, right?
And, in this economy, I'm thinking about all the money I'm saving in shampoo and other hair care product. (that miniscule amount will be diverted straight to the gas pump unfortunately)

well... happy hair cut, everybody.

I smell a rat...

2011-04-01T21:17:00.000-05:00

...and he's dead.

It's my first 'kill' as a trapper.

The muskrat wasn't too happy. He gave me the middle finger/claw.

And his dental health leaves a little to be desired.

Definitely no love from the muskrat. Captain and Tennille must have known friendlier muskrats.

My only consolation...I didn't enter trapping for the friendships.

Sounding a retreat...

2011-03-19T21:15:00.000-05:00

There's been a couple times in the last several years that I've felt overwhelmed with life enough to just need a weekend get-away to regain my sanity. The second of those couple times was two weeks ago.

And there's something about getting outside that helps set my mind and heart back on track. God seems to use nature to quiet my over-analytical mind and to remind me of the bigger scope of life. And even when my 'day job' involves outdoor time, for the most part, it's easy to lose the grander perspective and beauty of the 'forest' when you're stuck in the trees.

Some of my favorite photos of my personal retreat and outdoor 'therapy'...

...a baseball on the edge of the Arkansas River.

...an armored possum

...somebody's semi-fine china.

I snuck up on a little spike buck. I walked a little ways, heard a sound behind me, and saw this 6-pt and about 7 others. I wasn't quick enough to snap a picture of the whole group.

I also splurged on a little peach cobbler shake from Bogey's in Hutchinson. It's as good as it sounds.

Now I know...

2011-02-02T19:17:00.000-06:00

I've never known why the Amish do the beard thing like they do...

...until now.

I recently had 'the crud.' And by that, I mean the respiratory/sinus garbage that keeps you from breathing, makes you feel like you're carrying a gallon of fluid in your head, and keeps you from tasting/smelling for days. This stuff also makes your head feel like a fully or over-inflated tire.

I also went through a bale of kleenex. Which is where my amish beard theory comes in...

I blew my nose incessantly for 4-5 days. And without a lot of gory detail, the payload was great. Having a 'normal' beard, you can imagine the amount of 'payload' that gets caught in the mustache portion of the 'normal' beard every time you blow your nose.

So I shaved the mustache, but kept the beard so my face wouldn't freeze off in the arctic tundra known as the Midwest. (I won't mention that I was inside, sick, on the two 70 degree days preceding 'snowpocalypse' this past week)

And shaving the 'stache worked like a charm.

Thanks, Amish friends.

And, I've discovered that there are other famous people who have made the same discovery...

One of our greatest presidents, Honest Abe, who was quoted as saying, "I honestly don't know how men with beards can blow their nose when they have a mustache." (that's why he's Honest Abe)

And former U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. C. Everett Coop. (Who else but the nation's former 'top doc' to sport the 'nose-blower' beard). Granted, he has trouble eating soup with his overgrown chin-growth, but that's another topic for another blog.

Shaving the mustache is obviously healthier since you're not 'retaining fluid.'

The 'stache-less beard has a special place in the hearts of K-state fans ( of which I am not one).

So, as successful as the beard thing has been for me, what other great contributions from the amish community should I mention or maybe be a poster-child for?

friendship bread
the new fad: fake fireplaces that you see in magazines and on info-mercials
great restaurants, bakeries, and cheeseries in Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. (not to leave out Yoder, Ks)
'black and blue' fashion
straw hats
great barns and barn raising 'parties'

Two Steps Forward... One Step Back

2011-01-15T16:34:00.001-06:00

It was a pretty full week. And it was fuller because it was characterized by some 'milestone' activities. And while said activities were trivial in the greater scope of life, they seemed to hold more significance than many of my recent endeavors. (Granted, placing 1st and 2nd in your two fantasy football leagues is no small accomplishment). They carry with them a quality of 'growing up' as well as a reminder that I'll never fully grow up or grow away from the emotions of earlier days/years.

First of all... I got a library card. Library cards seem to have an automatic K-12 connotation, but for me it seemed to be evidence of progress and even maturity. I'm trying to watch less television and I miss reading fiction. So I found the closest branch of the city library and became a card-carrying member.

And, with some eclectic flair, I took home a newly-printed dual-novel of A Tale of Two Cities/Great Expectations by Charles Dickens along with two Louis L'Amour westerns. I've read Great Expectations, but knew nothing about 'A Tale' except... ' it was the best of times; it was the worst of times.'

I am slowly wading through the other-worldly writing style to add some culture to my existence. If that's not mature, than I'm not sure what is, right?
________________

Secondly, I got a new phone. I'm a late-comer to the Android world, and am playing some quick catch-up to maximize the opportunities and utilities of the app-filled world, not to mention the increased convenience of having a high-functioning mini-computer in the palm of your hand.
So far, so good.

________________

And finally, I re-entered the world of some pre-adolescent insecurity* by way of a basketball league 'tryout.' I use that term a bit loosely, but it was interesting to revisit some of the 'will i be picked last' emotions that most kids feel in a playground kickball game. It's not nearly as devastating to think about not being picked to play with guys I barely know, but there's a big part of my male ego that feels the need to prove myself. Even recognizing evidence of pre-teen insecurity in my adult life is significant, I think.

(*Actually, I think insecurity is insecurity whether you are 11 or 50. I just think that the 50 yr old has a more refined ability to deal with [or cover-up] the outside pressures and emotions that lead to insecurity...most of the time )

Anyway... 2010 was a year of a long learning curve. (read: hard year) I wonder what 2011 has in store. It seems to be starting off 'full' as well as educational.

Home-grown Christmas

2011-01-10T22:47:00.000-06:00

I hate shopping.

So, this year, I minimized the store time (and monetary expenditure) by making most of my gifts.

I made my two oldest nephews some mini-bats. My brothers and I had played with similar ones growing up, pitching and then hitting ping pong balls in our basement in a scaled-down homerun derby.

I also made 'quality time' a gift with my nephews by taking them out for a movie and some dinner, as well as 'trying out' the bats in my parents basement. (*No basements, nephews, or uncles were hurt in the process*)

I also got some raw cedar from work and cut it down for a variety of other gifts.

One of my favorites turned out to be a lighthouse for my parents.

Special thanks to my friend Joe. He made his shop and wood-working expertise available to me through the month of December. I appreciated the time to learn and re-learn some things concerning the art of woodworking, and also had a great time hanging out with Joe and his family. He also helped me make some cedar toy blocks for a couple special girls. We spelled the names of my niece, Eyla, and my friend Evan's daughter, Etta, on four sides of the cedar cubes. (I've pictured some, but not all, of those letters)

I've fallen in love with the smell of cut cedar. I also think I've got cedar sawdust permanently embedded in my sinuses for the rest of my life. I guess I'll have moth-free sinuses.

This was one of my favorite Christmas seasons in terms of giving, and putting intentional thought and time into the gifts made it special. It meant more to me, that's for sure, regardless of how the gifts were received. (Unfortunately, I've had several previous holidays of giving gifts after simply swiping a card or handing over cash). It was definitely a lesson in 'quality over quantity.'

And, given some more time and creativity, it's something that I want to continue in years to come.

A new niece wasn't a bad Christmas gift for me, either.

Snow Art: My Sistine Chapel

2011-01-10T21:42:00.001-06:00

The Tools

The Canvas

The finished masterpiece...

Michelangelo didn't have to deal with stuff like blowing snow and wind chills, though. I think I've got an edge.

Actually, I should have made a snowman. It would have been more of a masterpiece, and the snow was perfect for it.

Weedkiller

2010-11-27T10:24:00.000-06:00

Referring to my previous post...

I just read, at the very least, an encouraging and challenging reminder of truth. It's the kind of thing that I referred to in the 'weed post' as the spiritual equivalent of Roundup.

But, like the real Roundup, it does no good unless it's applied.

It does no good in a bottle.

It does no good in a blog.

Application.

And, when necessary, re-application.

Amber waves of grain- purple mountain majesty

2010-11-13T22:16:00.001-06:00

Don't get used to this, my blog-reading friends. Multiple posts in one day is not my M-O. I'm trying to clean house, finish thoughts, etc.

It's been almost a month since this trip. It was a great weekend.
___________________________________________

I've made a few attempts at writing some witty intro to this post only to have it glide off my fingertips like...

yep- nothing.

Anyway... I went to Colorado a couple weeks ago. I was ready for a break from Kansas wind and crunchy, dry grass. (I think that this summer put me over the edge a bit- consecutive 109-110 degree days, working outside, blast furnace wind... no thank you).

I intended to see some friends and enjoy the mountain views, but was also able to set up a general interview with an organization that I respect a great deal and would love to work for.

Suffice it to say, Colorado is growing on me.

I climbed my first Colorado mountain peak, Twin Sisters, outside Estes Park, elevation 11,428 ft. (Not a 14-er by any stretch of the imagination, but a good starting point for my 'summit-ing' career)

That's Twin Sisters through the windshield of the ca...

thanks, Karm, for not leaving me and my Kansas cardio system in the dust.

Some more of my favorite pics...

The reward for a high-altitude workout... Thai food in Boulder (not pictured) and ice cream. Imagine a brownie about the size of that milk can building, in a bowl, and then in my gut (actually...couldn't even finish it)

Oh Colorado...you temptress, you.

In the Weeds...

2010-11-13T21:45:00.001-06:00

I started this post a couple weeks ago...and since I seem to be in a blogging mode/mood today, I thought I'd knock it out. It's been a weedy couple weeks. Applicable.

_________________________________________________

This post has been ruminating in my head for awhile. Maybe I should say, my mind has been ruminating on this post for quite some time. (confession: i had to go to dictionaryDOTcom to check my usage of the ruminate word...you get the point, hopefully).

It's been a 'heady' last year or so... that referring to days and months of analysis, questioning, reading, thinking, over-thinking, and all the other words that you can imagine 'heady' to refer to. I would say that over-analysis is one of my spiritual gifts, but the problem with that is 1) I don't know how spiritual it is and 2) I am completely convinced that it's not a gift.

Anyway... while I'm not sure that this is exactly what Jesus was referring to, the headiness has seemed to connect me to a parable and passage in Matthew 13 where He is talking about the seeds and the sower. Of particular relevance and application is the portion of the parable where Jesus talks about seed falling among the weeds. The result is that the growth from the seeds is choked by the weeds.

In His explanation of the parable, Jesus says that this seed/weed interaction indicates a person who grows to a place of fruitfulness in spiritual things, only to have that fruitfulness snuffed out by worries and worldly cares. I'm not sure what the original Greek says, but there is a reference in most translations to greed and monetary aspirations overshadowing the focus on the eternal, as well as the worries of life choking out fruitfulness.

Weeds are terribly tenacious, life-sucking organisms. I've discovered that 'fun' truth first-hand in my last several months of working as an 'external beautification specialist.' I'm not sure how many hours I've spent on my hands and knees, pulling weed after weed after weed after weed out of a flower bed or tree box. We have one particular kind of weed that has taken over whole sections of our lawns. There is no sign of the healthy fescue grass that we planted last year. And it seems that repeated applications of herbicide haven't won the battle...yet.

And weeding/spraying is not a 'one and done' process. My coworkers and I can make a given flower bed look great, pulling out the weeds (properly- roots and all), only to come back days later and have to do it all over again. We can spray several times a season, only to have the little (insert plural censored descriptor) come back with a vengeance.

I think, taking this illustration back full circle, 'heady' can be exchanged for 'weedy' as a description of my last year or so. I've felt a lot of joy and peace strangled out of my life and relationships by the weeds of worry and anxiety. And while I find days of reprieve and the ability to 'breathe' again, I feel like I'm living in a perpetual choke hold these days.

So... I'm searching for the spiritual equivalent of Round-up. I'm finding that worship is part of that solution. I've been saved, time and again, as I digest what I'm playing/reading/singing.

And like the real-life stuff, I know that 'weeding' my mind and heart are not one-and-done activities.
At least I think I know that...

Maybe that's part of my problem- I need to be a little more regular about cleaning house and eradicating the 'weeds.' And weeds can have some deep roots. This is going to be a long process.

Why are these things so much easier to write about...

_________________________________________

Another blog from my current life...for another day... pruning and John 15

Why I love Pandora...

2010-11-13T21:17:00.000-06:00

I saw the name Ruth Moody on another blog and checked her music out...

Canadian singer songwriter
individual artist
also part of the 'Wailing Jennys'
great acoustic-driven sound

so I made a "Ruth Moody" pandora station.

Check out these songs that started on Ruth's station tonight-

Come on Get Higher- Matt Nathanson
Crash Into Me (Live '99)- Dave Matthews
I'll Be (Acoustic Version)- Edwin McCain
Why Georgia- John Mayer
Brand New Day- Joshua Radin
Beautiful Girls (Stand By Me)- Boyce Avenue
Angel/Better Together (Live 2008)- Jack Johnson

While I'm not quite as familiar with Joshua Radin and Boyce Avenue, I enjoyed their sound, especially nestled between these other classics. I love the live ones, especially.

Yep... Pandora. It's what's for dinner.

And some Sister Hazel is coming on... All for You (Live)

Confession of a Killer...

2010-11-13T11:56:00.001-06:00

I'm discovering a 'talent' that I do well, and do frequently enough that I wish I could get paid for it.

I kill chapstick.

and this is my weapon of choice...

It's being added as a new feature on the 2011 edition of the Clue board game.
Professor Plum, in the utility room, with the dryer.

Guilty as charged

Breaking the Post Silence...

2010-10-26T19:10:00.000-05:00

Yep... your blog-feeder/reader doth not deceive.

And not only that, but I've had a few blog-worthy things percolating in my noggin to dazzle and amaze in the coming days, so stay tuned.

Until those earth-shattering things see the light of day, enjoy the literal 'light of day' that I walked out the door to see this week. I literally said wow, out loud. (As in WOL in text-speak). And then I went and grabbed my camera.

It'd be nice to see that kind of thing every morning... And then again, maybe not. I'd hate to grow accustomed and numb to that kind of beauty.

And just a bonus- I saw this cool 'parting of the cloud sea' on the drive home from South Dakota on Labor Day. (I especially like the 2nd pic, with the road disappearing in the distance)

I'm learning to have my camera close and ready. You never know when you'll see something photo and blog-worthy.

the summer that was...

2010-09-25T22:03:00.000-05:00

I went for a run tonight... in long sleeves.

It's fall, and I love it.

While I have acclimated to a warm working environment,
I was made for cooler places. (yes... that is an actual picture from work. I forgot to take a picture of the days it maxed out this cheap little thermometer)

Here is a short and incomplete snapshot of my summer...

A quick disclaimer- no animals or people were harmed in the activities depicted in any of the following photos, unless the animals were meant to be eaten.

snapshot(s) #1- one of the most amazing games I've ever attended in person- Rangers vs Red Sox at Arlington- August 13th. 9 homers, including a walk-off homer in the bottom of the 11th.

snapshot(s) #2- my first experiences with eating leftover sushi at home and chocolate babka. Both were 'successes.' I did not eat them at the same time.

snapshot(s) #3- Mutual of Wichita Wild Kingdom... the "LOG," (short for LARGE-FROG). I was curious as to whether he ate 'fish food.' He toyed with it. And when he wouldn't do more than play, I played the bully and yanked him up by his lower lip, much to his chagrin.

I have big hands and pretty big feet... I had a bit of a task unhooking him from my lure, and then getting him back into the water. I could barely get my hand around his shoulders/mid-section. Grande, and heavy.

snapshot(s) #4-recreational hazards... big, sharp (red) hook + ambitious, yet smallish, fish= on-site surgery.

snapshot #5- big wheels aren't just for little kids. This dude might as well have been sitting on the ground. It was a pretty beefy and homemade-looking contraption. (and I didn't get a good pick of his riding companion on his own equally homemade-looking big wheel)

and finally, snapshot #6- The Creature from the Red Lagoon- this thing was living in my 'korean casserole' (at Yokohama in Lawrence) and about to climb out of the bowl. Creep-ay, but taste-ay.

well... needed something light to blog about this time. There you have it. See ya summer.

Maybe cooler weather will inspire me to blog more. Maybe not.

The privilege of privilege... and why I whine about it.

2010-08-03T18:49:00.000-05:00

I dropped my toothpaste in the toilet last week. I fished it out (before I thought to take a picture of it for this blog) and chucked it directly into the trash can.

Disgusted? No doubt.

Frustrated? Honestly, I was frustrated for only an instant. I was frustrated for as long as it took me to throw the 'tarnished tube' away, wash my hands (gag), open the under-sink cabinet, and get out a fresh tube. The fresh tube even had 'whitening' enhancing flakes (or whatever they're called).

As I've thought about that, I have a flashback image in my mind of some Jamaicans cutting open toothpaste tubes to get the last little bit, scraping the inside of the tube almost spotless. As I left the island after my first of two mission trips to that country, our team was asked to leave behind anything, including half-used toothpaste tubes, that would be used by local people. And so I did the 'noble' thing- I made the ~~monumental and sacrificial~~ easy decision to leave behind my travel-sized toothpaste tube, that was half-used.

I could talk about how much I hate the triple-digit heat in Kansas lately. But I'd also have to share about how I have working air conditioning in my car and in my home.

I could talk to you about how frustrating it is to be in life transition and work in a place that seems about as far from my life calling as it could be. I could write how frustrated it is not to feel like you know your life calling yet. I could even write a blog about those frustrations, and come off as a whining, disenfranchised brat. (I've been reevaluating my 'contest entry' if you hadn't noticed)

But, after talking about those job/life frustrations, I'd have to tell you that I am able to pay my bills. My belly would tell you that I eat well. I'd have to tell you that I am gradually paying off debt. I'd have to honestly tell you that I don't really lack for anything.

Toothpaste-air conditioning-stable income... all things that I take for granted. And these are all things that the majority of the people in the world do not have, and don't even hope for. Sad, isn't it. I could tell you of the countless things that I have in my cabinets and drawers that some people will never have. And more sadly, I could give you more examples of what I have, what I am blessed with, and what I take for granted.

I've come really close to deleting my last post- my 'contest entry.' It was more venting than coherent (or beneficial) thoughts. It was something that you write, think better of, and delete.

But I chose not to. I know, in retrospect, that it represents, not the glossy and polished look of someone that I am proud portraying, but the honest and raw look of how selfish and tunnel-visioned my focus is at times. It portrays more of the truly human heart that beats in my chest, that often questions God's timing and goodness, and wonders why have I have to 'suffer' through periods of transition and doubt.

In it's best light, my 'whining blog' represents the honest seeking of a heart that really desires to live for God. In it's' worst light, it reflects the heart of someone who is truly blessed, but doesn't know it fully.

Why the whine?

I think any North American Christian whines and complains about anything because he/she doesn't realize how blessed and privileged he/she is.

In my saner moments, I realize that, and repent of it to a God who does nothing but lavish me with good things.

In my 'human' moments, I kick and scream like a spoiled baby, thinking that the world revolves around me.
-----------

If I could rewrite my contest entry, I would say that I want to live a bigger story because it more rightly and winsomely reflects the Author of the Biggest Story.

I would write that living a bigger and better story reflects that 'top line/bottom line' view (that I learned in Perspectives) of the Biggest Story that says we are blessed, not to selfishly enjoy and live comfortably (and lazily), but so that we might pass that blessing on to others.

I would write that I want to live a bigger story, because that's the reality- I am part of a great story. And all the bumps that I complain about are only lending themselves to the drama and intrigue leading up to the perfect ending.

(I'm going to reread this blog, hopefully, when I forget)

–noun

1.a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most: the privileges of the very rich.

If you're reading this, you, like me, are privileged. You are among the 'very rich.' You are living beyond the advantages of most.

May we live, give, and love accordingly.
And may I do all three first, before expecting it from anyone else.

Writing the Story of Me...

2010-07-15T23:54:00.001-05:00

This is a first for me... writing for a 'contest.' Author Donald Miller and Co. are putting on a seminar in Portland and gifting a trip to said seminar to a person (and a friend) who writes an inspiring blog about it. (please see the video at the bottom of this blog)

There's no feasible way to attend the conference outside of winning the contest, so I take the leap, and let my fingers articulate my heart.

So... prepare to be inspired. And even if it doesn't inspire, this will give you all a vulnerable glimpse of my life that, I hope, will encourage you to rethink yours.

(I've read all of Miller's books, most of which have come out in the last 10 years or so. Blue Like Jazz and his latest, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, are my favorites. He writes with a personable and conversational style that makes reading easy. And he discusses the weighty topics of life, relationships and faith with an openness and candor, admitting when he doesn't know the answers, and graciously offering his opinion and perspective when he has them. He seems to have a great and biblically-inspired balance of grace and truth. He's good-one of my favorites. Check him out, if you haven't already)

Miller's latest book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, introduces the topic of seeing our lives as a story, and intentionally pursuing a better story, and a better life. As Miller writes, the components of a great story are true in whatever genre-movies, novels, and yes, even our own lives: "A character that wants something and overcomes conflict to get it." (Don begins a three-part blog series here about how we see those components in the popular new movie, Toy Story 3.)

I love how Don weaves his own personal story and experience in with the discussion of big and weighty topics of life and calling and destiny. I'm intrigued by the people that he's come across in his life, developing life-long friendships with amazing individuals, simply by being open and aware of his surroundings. I appreciate his ability to engage people's hearts by sharing his own.

His story, and this 'million miles' book, reminded me a bit of Philip Yancey's Soul Survivor. Like Miller, Yancey shares about people who came into his life and shared a part of the journey with him, or at least caught his attention along the way. He shares how they inspired him and contributed to his own story.

What would happen if we took more time to listen to the stories of people surrounding us? How would our perspective of our lives change if we stopped to take inventory of what others have contributed?

I also hear the voice and heart of John Eldredge, reminding and inspiring us that life is an epic journey that God desires us to live to the fullest. The experiences that He allows are all about developing us into the men and women He created us to be. We have an enemy who seeks our destruction, but God is our biggest cheerleader, protector and advocate, encouraging us and reminding us of His presence on this life journey.

So... what is my story?

I'm not going to bore everyone with the details of my birth (which I obviously don't remember) or my daily routine, 34 years later. But it's intriguing to me to look at the components of a story and overlay them on my life and see how they flesh out. Intriguing? Maybe a better word is baffling. Or sometimes, frustratingly random. Or...

Actually, I'm not going to go into many specifics, but I think I cover two of the three bases pretty well. I know the character- me- and I recognize (and struggle through) conflict when it arises, but the third one is the challenge. The 'wanting something' is a little blurry. Actually, wanting something is not the problem, but knowing what I want and intentionally pursuing it is the issue.

What do I want? Why am I here? Where do I fit? What was I created to contribute? Where is this journey leading?

I've grown up with supportive parents who have been as supportive as anyone I know. They were always consistently there to say, "we're proud of you and love you, no matter what you choose to do." That wasn't a license for scandalous behavior, but a blank check of their backing to support me in following my dreams. And when my parents haven't been physically present, I've been surrounded by an amazing host of cheerleaders and friends.

I have been afforded opportunities to do just about anything I wanted.

I've served on two mission trips to Jamaica.
I've traveled to Africa twice, serving in Zambia and even bungee jumping off the Victoria Falls bridge.
I saw the frantic preparations for this year's World Cup when I was in South Africa two years ago.
I've officiated a wedding for one of my best friends on the steps of a Sonoma Valley vineyard house, after driving with him on a non-stop 29-hr trip from Wichita to San Francisco.
I even got crapped on by a bird in Grenada last summer while on a 3-week exposure cruise with Operation Mobilization.

These things have all just 'happened,' it seems. I didn't dream up and pursue any of it. The opportunities materialized, and I said, 'okay, let's do it." That's the story of my life- no big pre-arranged life blueprint; just a series of fun, sometimes hard, and exciting experiences.

And don't get me wrong... I am deeply grateful for those experiences. I have some rich memories and unforgettable experiences to relive in my mind and in conversation. And looking back, I see God's hand guiding and leading and orchestrating (for most of it)...

But life just seems random and disjointed sometimes. And the current season seems as ambiguous as any I've known up to this point. As blessed as I am, and have been, and as supported and loved as I am, I still struggle to not feel like I know where any of this is going or where I fit.

I'm a pastor's kid, and have lived enough places that I'm not sure what to tell people when they ask me where 'home' is.
I went to college as a criminal justice major and graduated as a pastor.
I worked at a camp after college and worked there for a year and a half because they needed help, not because I have a life calling to camping ministry.
I left camp ministry to a short season of transition, living with my parents and working in a church pew factory.
I lived the church pew factory/parental 'free rent' life for six months before moving halfway across the country to be a youth pastor, something I never really envisioned doing.
The youth pastor 'gig' was a great 9 1/2 years at the same church, producing lifelong friendships and memories, but ending with a clear sense of needing to move on.
And now... a year after resigning my youth ministry position, I've just 'celebrated' my first anniversary of paying my bills by working at a cemetery and funeral home doing everything from mowing lawn to driving a funeral coach...
And now... I have no clue what's next... or what I want to be next. There are possibilities for 'next,' but no clear, life-defining vision of the immediate or long-term future.

Someone likened my life to that of Jayber Crow, Wendell Berry's multi-faceted and eclectic-life protagonist. There are some parallels, oddly enough. He seemed to go wherever the wind blew him, doing everything from working at a race track to cutting hair to digging graves.

And now, although I don't really adhere to this theology in my heart of hearts, the current chapter of my life story seems just as random as Jayber Crow's and a product of what feels like God taking a break from communicating my story with some kind of 'writer's cramp.' It feels like everything is on 'pause' even as life speeds by me. I don't know my place, and it's hard to be okay or at peace with that.

I know the right Sunday School answers. I know God loves me and has a plan for my life. I know that 'all things work together for good for those that love God." I know that this life is ultimately not about me, but like any human being, knowing that and living it are two different things.

I don't see how the story progresses from here.

I don't understand where I balance what I do with what I trust God to do. What is my responsibility in this story, and what is His?

And hardest of all... I don't know how to enjoy the journey for what it is--a faith-saturated opportunity for me to represent God in a winsome way on this earth by living the life and story He's called me to.

The 'not finding joy in the journey' makes me feel selfish and ungrateful and spoiled... and most assuredly, I am those things on a regular basis. It's no fun to feel stuck, and, although biblical, I struggle to thank God for these opportunities to grow.

But I have a sincere desire to live the story and be the person God created me to be. It's ultimately about Him.

So... were I to be picked to attend the Donald Miller seminar, I think these are the things that I would look for...

An opportunity to widen my spectrum of friends and acquaintances by meeting others with the same desire to pursue a meaningful and exciting personal life story.
The opportunity to have some objective input into my life story from people who, as yet, know nothing about me.
The opportunity to be reminded of TRUTH that I forget or ignore in the distractions of life.
The opportunity to add a cool chapter to my life story.

That's it... gut-honest, vulnerable, and raw.

Don, and other staff members, thanks for the consideration. Thanks, too, for inspiring people like me to think more 'big picture' thoughts about life and eternity. And thanks for helping facilitate the process of realigning and reinvigorating 'stuck' people in need of encouragement.

please check out this video about the seminar...

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

Snap, Crackle, Pop

2010-07-07T21:21:00.000-05:00

The following are my top 'snap, crackle, and pop' 4th of July firework photos.
They turned out pretty cool.

I call the first one, "Radioactive Palm Tree."

The next one, I call "Sky Anemone."

And for the grand finale, a tie between "Tinkerbell" and "Cottonwood Seed"

I know, I know... I cringe at the tinkerbell tag too, but it looks like a little person/fairy in the middle, and that's all I could think of. (And, yes, I'm secure enough in my masculinity to stick with it)

Thanks to the Freuds for including me in their 4th festivities, and thanks to the Freuds and Duerksens for the pyrotechnic show.

Hey You Guys!

2010-07-06T22:09:00.000-05:00

Pretty epic night...

Even as I write this, I'm watching the final minutes of one of the great movie classics of all time...

...The Goonies.

It's given us such great cinematic moments as:
the 'truffle shuffle,'
'pinchas of powah,'
'baby ruuuuuuuuuth,'
and, my all-time favorite...

Mrs. Fratelli: Tell us everything! Everything!

Chunk: Everything. OK! I'll talk!

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam.

In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.

In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...

When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...

But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other.

I never felt so bad in my entire life.

Sadly, I trivialize the true beauty of the night with that, but I couldn't resist.

I was driving home tonight and saw this...

It was like the sky had a halo.

My only regret is my inability to fully capture the beauty with my phone camera. I usually have my digital camera with me in my 'purse.' But not tonight, unfortunately.

Nights like tonight make me want to be Ansel Adams and travel the globe (or country) trying to capture a small sliver of the beauty.

The Bible says in Romans 1 that creation is daily shouting 'hey you guys!' to get our attention off the small lives that we choose to live and point us to God. Jesus said that the very stones would cry out to praise Him if people didn't. The mountains and hills burst into song and trees of the field clap their hands in response to God, according to Isaiah 55.

So I guess the sky was in worship mode tonight, and singing/shouting loudly.

Actually, forget about Goonies. I'm shutting off my tv.

It's sad how satisfied and enthralled (and anesthetized) I am/we are by the 'reality' of t.v. and computer.

Nights like this put things in perspective.

Couple more things on this longest day of the year...

2010-06-21T23:23:00.000-05:00

Donald Miller's blog would be worth you checking out, in my humble opinion.

Father's Day-
This past Sunday was Fathers Day, in case you missed it.

I have a pretty cool dad. And while separated by distance, I'm thankful for a close and good relationship. I'm thankful for his example, his heart, and his passionate seeking after God. I'm thankful for the way that I've seen him love my mom faithfully and well. I'm thankful for his faithful support of my brothers and I. And I also enjoy seeing him in his grandpa role.

He also rides a Harley, which adds to the coolness factor. And... he knows how to play the Wii (although most nursing homes are employing that gaming system now as means of exercise for their patrons). Just kidding, dad. (and mom). * I could have included more embarrassing pictures, but don't want to put anyone on the spot.

People say that I'm a lot like my dad. My mom has said several times that, "you're your father's son." And I think she meant it favorably.

I take is as a great compliment.

I'm also thankful for my brothers, who are now both dads. And good ones... We've had a good example in not just our dad, but our grandpas.

Happy Father's Day

Cookie Day-
Also, if you read one of my recent posts, besides Father's Day, this last Sunday was also "cookie day" in heaven. My friend Colleen was released from her earthly limitations and ushered into eternity early Sunday morning.

Even writing about not being able to see or understand all of who God is or what He is doing makes me think of how much bigger a perspective she has now. She sees things more clearly than anyone here on earth. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a bit jealous.

Please pray for her husband Mark and her kids Ryan and Michelle, along with the rest of the family and friends who are grieving her death.

Math Maniac

2010-06-21T22:30:00.001-05:00

I have a shirt that says, "Math Maniac."

That is not the point of this post, regardless of the post's title.

The shirt is nothing more than a Goodwill purchase that makes people look weirdly at me . I like that it's green, and I like that it's a bit quirky (read: I like that it makes people look at me weirdly). I like that it has symbols that I've never seen before, but which I assume have something to do with math.

But it's just a shirt. I'm not really that into math at this point in life, outside balancing my checkbook or counting fantasy football points. This shirt has nothing to do with anything significant in my life, other than covering my naked torso, which is important.

But I digress...

I enjoy reading Donald Miller's books... Blue Like Jazz and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years are my favorites. I like the way he writes- a combination of brutal honesty, vulnerable transparency, self-deprecating humor, and deep spiritual insights. They are easy reads for me, and I find myself reading and re-reading them quickly. They're that good. But, like many books that are good, reading is one thing; digesting and applying is another.

I admire the way that Miller can engage people who think differently than him while staying grounded in who he is and what he believes. I admire that he does the hard work of listening and studying and reading, rather than just talking. While I've never met him, he seems to be the kind of guy who would make you feel important, even if you just met.

Several months ago, I found Miller's blog, signed up to receive his feed in my blog reader, and have since read whatever he writes there. Most days, I skip over his blog to read the rest of the blogs that I have feeding in... blogs with pictures and fun stories and family. But after I read the rest, I go back and read Don's blog. It's usually deep and profound enough to need extra time and attention to digest.

Let me throw in a caveat: if you have 'made the cut' on my blog feeder, your blog is not 'inferior' to Donald Miller's. It's just that I have to think about his a little bit deeper than most.

Another caveat: I will not be listing who has or has not made the cut on my blog reader :)

Back to Donald Miller...

Miller's entry today was, again, something that hit home to me. He talked about how complex life and faith is, but how simple some people try to make it sound. Those people want to feel in control and 'in the know,' so they talk and act as if they have life and God figured out. And it seems like, as those people show their so-called prowess or wisdom, they make others feel inferior and even stupid. They close themselves to others who think differently and attack people or ideas that threaten the comfort zone that they've created.

There is a chance that, like me, you could put your name in the 'some people/those people/they' sentences above. It definitely, and unfortunately, describes many Christians that I know or have interacted with. Sad.

Miller's point is this... God can be known. But at this point in life and eternity, we do not have the capacity to know it all. God has revealed Himself, most poignantly in and through the person of Jesus, but there is no one on earth that can say that they perfectly understand who God is, how He works, or what He is up to. There is TRUTH, but we are not the authors of it- only broken vessels through which God desires to convey Himself, His love, and His truth. That is a much more humble posture than the one with which most seem to approach life, God, or other people.

It's okay to say, "I don't know," or, "I'm not sure." We are not God and don't have to act like Him. We don't have all the answers, and we shouldn't claim to.

My "Jim's Contemporary Version" of that truth is: "chill out, enjoy the journey, and bless those traveling with/by you by listening well and sharing graciously what God has shown and is showing you. Be real. Be humble. Point others at God, the One with the answers, rather than at yourself."

Donald Miller quoted this in his blog entry...

"mathematicians go mad, not poets,

because mathematicians try to build a bridge across the infinite,

while poets swim in the sea."

-G.K. Chesterton

I want to be more of a poet than a 'math maniac.' I want to enjoy the swim. I want to create beauty out of what is beyond my understanding. I want to trust the God who created the sea, and Who threw me into it, instead of trying to escape the faith-building opportunities that He's seen fit to expose me to by building some human perspective-centered 'bridge' out of those opportunities.

And, in His sovereign wisdom and grace, God has us all on unique and intersecting learning curves. There is no such thing as 'one size fits all' in that learning process, so it seems smart and, *surprise*, biblical and Christ-like, to show grace to others swimming in the same water. I want to be someone who others enjoy swimming with. (And even if others don't agree with me, or vice versa, I want to be able to talk about it in a respectable, if not enjoyable, way) I want to be someone who swims in such a way that others want to know God and His Son Jesus.

I know I have long way to go on this journey.

Thanks to you who are graciously and patiently swimming alongside me.

And to dissuade any awkwardness and potential misunderstanding, I'd like to ask everyone to avoid posting any cheesy comments like, "I enjoy swimming with you." yeah... thanks.

Cookie Comfort

2010-06-13T17:44:00.000-05:00

It's been a stormy beginning to summer. Even today the weather map is colorful. It seems the atmosphere has been volatile and damaging on a pretty regular basis. And the evidence of it's volatility is plain to see.

One of the most beautifully flowering and symmetrical trees on our property fell victim to wind and storms. It's a tree, yes, but it was sad, given this particular tree's strategic place on the landscape. And now it's gone.

A different kind of storm is raging and threatening to extinguish the life of a piece of my personal life landscape. I learned, a few months ago, that cancer was rapidly consuming the life of a lady that has been a huge encouragement to me, especially during my years of ministry at Grace. This lady wrote me countless notes and cards, and baked me untold numbers of cookies. And she made a point to make the kinds of cookies i like... monster cookies and peanut butter cookies.

I saw her last Saturday, after hearing that she wasn't doing well and wasn't expected to live through the next month or so. I was saddened to see how much she'd deteriorated, but thankful for the opportunity to visit with her and her husband. As I prayed with them, and then left, I was struck by the reality that heaven might be the next place that we visit.

So I baked cookies.

I wanted to do something tangible and symbolic of the impact that this woman had had in my life, and the positive input she'd made on my ministry. Even realizing that she might not be able to enjoy them, I wanted to at least bless her husband, especially if she hadn't been able to bake since she got sick. And I also prayed that they would be edible.

A Crisco baking stick and one packed 1/4 cup of brown sugar inspired me.

I strategically placed the second cup of brown sugar to create a little Pinocchio face in the mixing bowl.

I was thankful to find my roommate's electric mixer after my hand cramped up gripping a wooden spoon.

And voila... the finished, golden product. In sincere and thankful humility, they actually tasted pretty good.

Storms are inevitable, and so is death. But cookies help ease the frustration and helpless feelings that accompany the hard stuff.

I had a lump in my throat as I wrote a note to my cookie encourager, Colleen. I told her that it's people like her and her cookies who keep people going when they need encouragement. It's timely words and sweet treats from well-meaning people that help take the edge off of life's storms. And I told her that I was pretty confident of rewards for her in heaven... and maybe cookies.

Wee Beady Eyes...

2010-04-26T21:52:00.001-05:00

I'm probably as surprised as anybody...

I've never been into snakes, but April has become 'snake month' for me and it's been something weirdly fascinating to find these guys all over the place.

There were five or more coiled up together. I tried to pick one up (with a 'grabber' we use for picking up trash from our mowers) and, surprisingly, he/she didn't like it. Live and learn, I guess. :)

Plainbelly Water Snake, I think.

The sky was also brilliantly blue today, with fluffy white, cotton candy clouds... beautiful. It almost looks like a screen-saver.

Which reminds me... we discussed a book in South Africa a couple years ago called What's Your God Language? by Myra Perrine. (It's a continuation and elaboration of a book from the mid-70's about spiritual temperaments). We were talking about why some people seem to struggle doing their quiet times, while others can sit and pray and meditate for hours; why people can worship the same God, but struggle to understand or connect with each other; why some people can devour books in one sitting, while others avoid them like the plague; why some people, like Mother Theresa, can be energized by serving the poorest of the poor while others are devastated and overwhelmed by the seemingly impossible need.

Without going to the book for a definition, my personal description of a spiritual temperament is the place or environment in your life where you best connect with God. It's different than a spiritual gift. It's not necessarily for the benefit of anyone but us. It's the personal and most natural conduit that God has wired us with to relate to Him at the core of our being. Mrs. Perrine identifies nine temperaments. (I've seen others identify as few as four or as many as twelve).

Some people connect best with God by wading through deep theological books and age-old arguments. (maybe, by using the term 'wading,' you can guess that this is not one of my primary places of connection with God... I could also use the words- plodding, trudging, suffocating). Some people feel closest to God when they are fighting for a cause, or for the welfare of a person or group of people. These people thrive in places and discussions of social justice. Some people feel closest or most in tune with God through the smell of incense and the sound of voices reverberating off domed cathedrals.

I am what the book would describe as a 'naturalist.' I connect best with Jesus when I'm exposed to the natural, created world.

So... if you wonder why I take pictures of snakes or deer, clouds or blue skies, daffodils and tulips- it's because those things renew my perspective on who God is, and who I am in relation to Him. It's why I think fishing on a cool spring evening is one of the most relaxing and calming things for my spirit. It's why my heart catches or jumps a bit when I see a shooting star. It's why spring has given me a jolt this year.
______

I encourage you to read the book. To whet your appetite, here's a list of the nine temperaments:
The Activist
The Ascetic
The Caregiver
The Contemplative
The Enthusiast
The Intellectual
The Naturalist
The Sensate
The Traditionalist

Which one are you? Or... what combination of those temperaments make you come alive to the wonder and presence of God in your life and world?

Reading Between the Lines

2010-04-19T22:04:00.001-05:00

So not all the snakes I encounter are big.

I happened to have a golf ball with me, so I wanted to give you the size perspective.

It's a lined snake. I've seen a few of them the last year or so. It's got some cool coloring. Here's a stock internet pick to give you more detail. (little blurry)

This post now sponsored by Mutual of Omaha.

And here's my young friend, Etta. You can't tell, but she's showing her new clapping skills. And she loves the cell phone.

Be Careful Little Hands What You Grab...

2010-04-12T22:12:00.000-05:00

It was in the back of my mind, but not close enough to the front to prepare me.

I was trimming some bushes and vines near one of the lakes at work wondering if I'd see any snakes. I figured I was making enough noise to scare them away before I saw them. I had been working for about 30 minutes when I picked up a clump of greenery and saw what I think was one of these coiled there.

Much to the amusement of my high school co-worker, I let out a four-letter expletive (not 'fart,' mom. sorry) and jumped back. It was a pretty big snake, and I'm glad that I didn't grab any more than I did.

To add some humor to the deal, the grey snake crawled under a boulder and another small garter snake crawled into the water, making it look like I was running from a snake the size of a long straw.

Believe me, little straws don't make me jump... or swear.

Anyway... I ended the day catching enough fish to rub the paint off my hook.

And then I saw the inspiration for Led Zeppelin's 'Stairway to Heaven.'

Yep... crazy and good day.

"I Woke Up"

2010-04-06T18:06:00.000-05:00

I woke up today.

That's either a really profound statement or I'm lowering the bar on the expectations for my life and day.

24 hours ago, I wasn't sure what my level of expectation was. I was puking like a dog over the course of about 9 hours and was pretty sure that I had not been as sick in recent history, if ever. I had forgotten that my stomach could hold (or expel) that much. I also forgot what it felt like to exercise my ab muscles.

What I will never forget is the reintroduction of Sonic tater-tots to the visible world. And with that, I will spare you any more details. (you're welcome)
________________________________

But I woke up today, feeling better... weak but better. And thankful.

I shared a couple of posts ago about some of the things that I'm thankful for. And while I'm thankful for those things and people, I am guilty of taking them for granted.

And having come through 'puke day' yesterday, I realize that I take my health for granted. I take life for granted. While I have been cognizant of staying healthy through flu and cold season, I rarely think to articulate that to God. And even as I go through each day, living and breathing, I find that it is a rare occasion where I give God credit.

I did not come up with the "I Woke Up" epiphany. I read it in a book that I've been reading over the last few days, Same Kind of Different As Me. That phrase was spoken by a cheerful homeless man who was asked why he was so happy, and that was his response- he woke up that day.

If you're like me, you have a very small connection, if any, to a statement like that, or to the context into which it was spoken. I have never had anything seriously threaten my ability and opportunity to get up in the morning and go about my day. I haven't had anything seriously impede anything I've wanted to do or accomplish. I've been blessed, and, yes, I've taken that for granted. Rarely have I marveled at waking up enough to thank God for the miracle that it is.

Anyway... I could tell you a lot about the book, but I don't want to spoil the effect. I'll tell you that it's one of the best, challenging, and inspiring reads that I've had in a long time. And yes, while I kept my composure, my eyes did well up with tears a couple times.

I will tell you this much: it's a story of privilege meeting poverty, of haves and have nots, and the amazing common ground that can be found when people allow themselves to cross over and relate to people who are...different.

Read the book. It's worth it.
_______________________

...speaking of 'different,' one of my neighbors is mowing lawn in the pouring rain, as I write.

_______________________

Maybe one of the greatest life lessons that I'm learning in this transition season is to be thankful. I am not entitled to and have not earned anything that I have. Everything is a gift.

And speaking of thankful... I'm thankful, especially now, that my neighbor took a break from mowing for a bit, since it's hailing.

Going Green

2010-04-02T23:06:00.000-05:00

It is amazing the transformation that has come in the last week. And even in just this one day, storms gave way to one of the freshest, clearest spring days I can remember.

Take one of these...

and then add some of this...

and you get this...

and this...

and these...

Beautiful.

And I don't know how much my mood and outlook are tied to weather and seasons, but it's nice to feel some 'spring' in my heart and mind too. It's been a long winter in more ways than one. Maybe you don't appreciate a brilliant spring day as much without trudging through the cold and dreariness of winter. And maybe the day isn't as beautiful or clear or fresh without the storm coming through and 'cleaning house.' I know that it was true in the natural world today. And it's clear that God speaks of heart and soul realities in and through His created world.

Maybe that's another reason for 'storms' in our own lives.

And Easter... it was a good day, Good Friday, to listen to this album and be reminded of the Reason for life and spring and the 'punishment that brought us peace.' The 'storm' of Good Friday was necessary for the victory and Life of Resurrection Morning.

oh... and I've begun the transformation process into the 'season of farmer tans'...

Thank God for new seasons

My New Tie...

2010-03-25T22:56:00.000-05:00

...saw a lot today.

It saw me live in my suit from 7:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. (a rare occurrence)
It saw me drive a hearse for the first time.
It saw 2,000 people grieve a beautiful and fun 13 yr old girl who died after a freak accident.

It saw Chipotle.

It saw the living room couch as I cast it aside to watch Otto (the Orange) and friends...lose.
It saw my first ever website prize come in the mail from here, (the 5 pm drawing) . They actually sent this.

yep...full, roller coaster day for the new tie...

march madness

"I simply remember my favorite things..."

2010-03-13T12:21:00.001-06:00

(begin disclaimer)
I begin this post with the words of Seinfeld's George Costanza...

"I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality,'...

(GULP and deep breath)

...I used Julie Andrews and the Sound of Music as some inspiration for this post.
(end disclaimer)

My 'cure' or remedy for some of the heaviness of late is to try and focus on things that I'm thankful for, things God has blessed me with, and things that make me smile. I don't have such a 'staunch record' of being thankful, but maybe that's part of the lessons of this season .

Enjoy...

My Favorite Things by Jim Horning

Nieces in duck hats in Skype camera flashes,

Mudflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,

Silver white winters that melt into spring,

these are a few of a my favorite things...

Late summer sunsets and ministry cruises,

Blackbird fanatics that look like nephews-es,

Cute little ladies that pull your heart strings,

these are a few of my favorite things.

When my life bites,
and is annoying,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember
my favorite things,
and then I don't feeel so bad!

Rich Mullins once said that when you're feeling sad or depressed, you need to go for a walk and be reminded about how big the world is, much bigger than your life/problems.

I also love this song...

and while I didn't put these into my song, here are some more favorites...

Thank you, Lord.

Tis the Season for...

2010-03-01T23:46:00.000-06:00

...Earthquakes.

I can't say that the Haiti or Chile circumstances have impacted me that deeply, though. I hate to even write that, but I'm just being honest. Sure, I've seen the news, watched the support and fundraising efforts rally the world, and even prayed for those who are more immediately affected. But it isn't personal for me. I sent some money to Haiti, but my heart was not and has not been 'devastated' by what is going on.

An earthquake of a different sort rocked my immediate world this weekend. I heard that a friend and former youth ministry colleague had succumbed to the tempations of moral failure, devastating some circles of people pretty close to me. And, like Haiti or Chile, the 'catastrophe' was totally unforeseen and horrifically devastating.

And now, like the Chilean situation, or even that of Southeast Asia a few years back, the tsunami created by this earthquake roles out from the epicenter and threatens to continue to cause damage as the waves and ripples issue forth. One decision, or a series of decisions, impacts more than just two people involved. The tide rolling out from this is going to drown some people, I'm afraid. And while I pray that it doesn't, this is the kind of stuff that demoralizes and severs relationships, and even undermines faith.

My mind has ping-ponged between grace and truth, frustration and forgiveness. There is no human alive that is impervious to temptation, (foremost...myself) but there are just some things you don't see coming, and some things that you think could never happen. I don't for a minute set myself on a pedestal that says that I could never fall victim to similar sin, but it's just one of those things that I wish people took a little more seriously, and guarded themselves a little more intentionally. I've had it drilled in my head since college that to put yourself in compromising positions is to invite failure and 'tempt the tempter.' I've never trusted my will power enough to dance close to that fault line.

I thought about a discussion I saw on yahoo.com... why was the Haiti earthquake so much more deadly? Chile was better equipped and prepared for handling an earthquake than Haiti, although the Chilean tremors were substantially more powerful. There was an infrastructure of building codes and emergency response that was much more readily available in Chile than in Haiti. It helped, too, that the Chilean quake epicenter was 20 miles out to sea, while the hugely populated capital of Port-a-Prince found itself very near the ground zero of tectonic shifting.

And so, I try to draw lines to this 'people-quake'... Shouldn't Christian people be better prepared? Shouldn't pastors be more wary of temptation? Shouldn't the infrastructure of churches, staff pastors, and elder boards be keeping a better system of encouragement and accountability to ward off these failures?

And, yes, even as I write this, I know I could link to a number of articles and stories that show that Christians (and pastors, especially) are just as susceptible to moral and spiritual 'failures.' Maybe Christians are more susceptible because they find themselves in communities and circles that tend to avoid touchy subjects or don't want to rock the boat with confrontation, and allow sin and temptation to exist, hidden behind closed doors and a facade of accountability. Maybe Christians are more susceptible because we live in the delusion that we're not.

Maybe Christians trust each other a little too much. Maybe the Body of Christ is a little too soft and naive about our sin nature and our enemy. Maybe we think too highly of our own ability to dance with the devil and not get burned.

So, again... let me be clear. My life is not sin-free. I'm not casting stones from a place of superiority or perfection. The tremors of sin rock my world daily.

If anything, I'm coming up for air after having the tsunami waves of demoralization, sadness, and disappointment wash over me.

I'm thankful for forgiveness. I'm thankful for grace and hope on the other side of tragedy. One of my life goals is to be more balanced with grace and truth. I'm in process on that one. Jesus, help me.

And, as this picture from Chile illustrates and reminds me/us, I'm thankful that Jesus is present in the midst of the earthquakes, helping to rebuild and bring comfort even in the midst of devastation.

Even so, Lord Jesus, come.

Dealing with the Shadow...

2010-02-05T21:04:00.002-06:00

I heard that Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this week. Six more weeks of winter is not overly appealing or encouraging at the moment. I'm ready for a new season.

I've been seeing the shadow on my face for a bit too long.

It's been a nice addition for the cold, outdoor work days, but it's starting to outgrow and outstay its welcome.

It's also been a visual reminder of the fact that I'm aging... enough said.

So... the facial fur came off tonight... in stages.

and finally...

I left a "little" Super Bowl handlebar.

...and my chin and cheeks are cold- And I'm even indoors. Probably not a good thing with six more weeks of winter.

I wish Punxsutawney could have dealt with his shadow as effectively.

On a lighter note...

2010-01-24T21:35:00.000-06:00

I carry a purse.

It looks like a backpack, but I came to the realization this week that I carry a man-purse....a murse. Seinfeld called it a "European man's carry-all." Joey Tribbiani (from Friends) called it his "man's bag." Some call it a 'satchel.'

But in all practicality, and humility, I realized I carried everything but the kitchen sink in it... books, journal, vitamins, a pair of gloves, Tylenol, band-aids, hand sanitizer, Rolaids, toothpicks, earplugs, gum, kleenex, iPod... and yes, even a pencil sharpener (for the pencils I use to underline in the books I read).

Anyway...just needed to confess that to the cyber world, and break out of the recent pattern of deep, heavy, thought-provoking blog entries.

Don't worry... I'm not far gone enough to make sure my clothes match the bag...although black probably goes with anything, right?

Fog-Clarity-Trust

2010-01-16T17:30:00.001-06:00

Bryan knelt by my chair and prayed for me.

We were in South Africa, August 2008, ending a two-week 'discussion' of life, ministry, and mission. An image stuck out to me from his prayer, as he prayed for, and sensed that part of my near future was going to involve God lifting some of the 'fog' from my life. And while life has only seemed to get foggier since that prayer, I find myself intrigued by that imagery and continue my pursuit of direction and clarity.

Like a lot of natural, weather-related things, fog can be a neat, beautiful, mysterious phenomenon. I woke up the other morning and headed to my car for work. I quickly went back into the house to grab my camera when I saw the icy blanket coating trees and bushes, and even signs and fences. Fog had frozen in amazing and intricate crystals that frosted everything with a prickly photogenic layer.

I encountered the flip side of the 'fog coin' last night, making it home in some of the soupiest fog that I've seen in a while. It was difficult to see the road, let alone fellow travelers. It had everyone a bit nervous, and driving a bit slower.While mysterious and intriguing, it was dangerous. And regardless of how often any of us drove that stretch of highway, the lack of visibility made everyone reevaluate their normal driving habits.

The parallels to life are obvious, or at least they are in my mind, having locked on to this idea of fog for the last year and a half. The dual reality of the fog illustration seems ready-made to describe this earthly journey: equal parts beauty and danger, mystery and path-blinding madness. And while the beauty and mystery are worthy of being captured with mental and physical snapshots (and the occasional blog), the blindness and danger of traveling the foggy road has me longing for clarity and the stability.

Enter Mother Teresa... as told by Brennan Manning in Ruthless Trust...

Encountering a volunteer at her "Home for the Dying" in Calcutta, India, Mother Teresa asked the man what she could do for him. He was there to try and figure out how he was going to spend the rest of earthly ministry life, so he asked her to pray for clarity.

She said firmly, " No, I will not do that."

When he asked her why, she said,

" Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of."

When [he] commented that she always seemed to have the clarity he longed for,

she laughed and said,

" I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust.

So I will pray that you trust God."

Manning continues...
"Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk of trusting God. Fear of the unknown path stretching ahead of us destroys child-like trust in the Father's active goodness and unrestricted love."

Hmmm...
It seems easy to see the fog as a gift when you embrace it's beauty and mystery. It's when you're worried about keeping the car on the road, or anxious about unseen and imminent obstacles that you question both the 'gift' of fog and the Giver.

Maybe I've had a the wrong focus since Bryan's prayer. I've been a lot more frustrated by the fog than blessed by the beauty and value of this season. If the fog forces me to change my 'driving habits,' maybe it's not such a bad thing.

2010: The Year of the Ragamuffin

2010-01-05T22:52:00.004-06:00

It seems a ripe time to show some ambition and forward-thinking by publishing a list of goals and 'resolutions of grandeur' for the coming year. And while I did make said list (or at least started), it is not ready for public consumption. In fact, it might never see the light of my computer screen.

In keeping consistent with a theme of this blog entry, I'm pretty cynical about people sharing the depths of their hearts online, but most of the things on my goals list seem intrinsically tied to something more central and internal. So, I'll break with my norm, and share a little more vulnerable shot of the 'umbrella' issues(s) that motivate the smaller life goals for 2010.

I've been reading, and finished, The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. Ragamuffin isn't close to the top of the list of 'most-used words of the last decade.' In fact, if it's outside your normal vocabulary, it basically means unpolished, ragged, and even dirty. Manning's intent, in his book, is to give hope and life by illustrating that the heart of the Gospel message is not about coming to God with everything together, neatly wrapped and tied with a bow. The heart of that message is God's grace which is, in his words, "for the bedraggled, beat up and burnt-out."

Sidenote:I like to use a pencil and mini-ruler to neatly underline sentences and thoughts that catch me or that trip some trigger in my head and heart. There are several of those pencil lines in this book, thoughts waiting to be processed more deeply and weighed for their worth in possible life application. Rarely have I actually taken the time to go back and dig through the pencil lines. But I'm in a season where I think I need to dig a little deeper, and I'm mining some pretty significant and valuable stuff. Application still to come...

I'm feeling more 'ragamuffiney' of late. And by of late, I mean the last several years since the Pollyanna black-and-whiteness of my worldview has been buffed and sanded by 'real life.' Things were a lot simpler when I was young, and even in high school and college. I was surrounded by people who, generally, thought and believed what I did (or my parents did). Cliches held a little more weight then, and trite answers seemed to suffice.

That seems a long time ago. The current, and true, reality is more the unpolished, ragged and dirty nature coming through... in me, in others, and in our world. (It's probably a good thing for the blinders to be off, right?)

I think the biggest struggle of the last couple years for me has been joy. You know the word... it's the quality that we're supposed to exhibit as Christians (and especially pastors, right).

It's not happiness. No, that is an emotion tied to favorable circumstance. (How many times have I taught that in Sunday School, or heard it in a college class?)

Joy is the lightness of heart and mind that comes from being content and at peace in one's life and circumstances. And joy is truly and best seen when peace and freedom and life are exhibited in spite of hard circumstances.

For Christians, it's the assurance that God IS, and that everything He's said is true, and everything He's promised will come true. Joy comes when you truly rest or abide (or whatever other biblical John 15 synonym you want to throw in there) in those truths, evidenced by actually enJOYing life and living in the freedom that comes from believing that God has everything covered... as opposed to wrestling and struggling and striving to try to produce those 'everythings' in one's own strength.

Joy is the byproduct of the relief and LIFE-giving freedom that comes when God is allowed to do the heavy lifting.

Anyway...

It hasn't always been this way, but in more recent years, instead of exhibiting joy, my life and heart have been heavy. And instead of hope there has been cynicism and doubt. I'm not sure when that switch got flipped. I think, in retrospect, there are two realities: 1) that my personality and wiring flow to more melancholy and 2) that it has been more a gradually tightening of my grip on life instead of the releasing of things to God's care and sovereignty. In the dicey moments and intense times (and even the daily mundane things) I have tried to exhibit my strength and ability instead of exhibiting God's. And the white-knuckle grasp for control results in nothing but an ache and the disillusionment of realizing that I have little control.

And while I know the right answers, the 'love, joy, peace, patience, etc' fruit have seemed overshadowed by the fruits of pride, doubt, fear and cynicism.

Jon Foreman was interviewed recently, and weighed in on the heart of a cynic...

'A cynic is just someone with a broken heart.

Things tear you apart, and the easiest response is to tear something else down."

In a world that's full of pain and brokenness, cynicism runs rampant. It seems an uphill battle to believe and live the joy-filled, fruitful lives that we were made for.

From Manning's Ragamuffin,

"In a world that is torn and tearing, it takes a touch of folly to believe that 'even when our choices are destructive and their consequences hurtful, God's love remains unwavering. Thus, regardless of our own insulation and defensiveness, God is constantly open and vulnerable to us.'"

-Manning, with an excerpt from Addiction and Grace by Gerald May

The Gospel is best understood from the perspective of the ragamuffin... a person who has no illusions of 'having it all together,' but who crawls humbly to the feet of the Savior and says, "I'm broken, I know it, and I need You to put me back together."

And, with the ragamuffin, it's not an issue of 'IF' you will fail, but 'WHEN' you fail, that you are able to find help and healing and forgiveness and the encouragement to get back in the fight and keep going.

So... here's to a 2010 full of-

more moments of embracing the ragamuffin in me/us
more joy than circumstance-dependent happiness
the 'folly' that results in hope in the One who is unwavering, lovingly benevolent, and ultimately trustworthy
life that is truly LIFE

And where those things are true, I think everything else will fall into place.

Or, in Jesus' words in Matthew 6,

"Don't worry about your life, what you will eat or drink,

or your body, what you will wear...

But seek first His Kingdom, and His righteousness,

and all these things will be given to you as well."

Happy 2010

Christmas 2009

2009-12-31T19:32:00.009-06:00

(please note that I've edited several times due to annoyance with formatting)

Good times had by all...

Highlights:

Part 1: Family

(Sung to the tune of 12 Days of Christmas, with flexible creative license and numeration)

3 Ornery Nephews, 2 much eating, 1 Pretty Niece...

...and the family in front of the tree.

Part II: The Wii
Everyone participated...yes... everyone (except Luke and Eyla)

mom bowling

Josh and Austin Golfing

and my dad and my Miis golfing.

Part III: Floor Hockey
A yearly tradition (for at least the last few years) has been to drive to Edgerton, OH to play floor hockey with the Stiver family and friends.

Two hours of great exercise and fun. Unfortunately, I missed the 'post-game festivities.'

(i hoped to put a video of the festivities from last year, but, alas, couldn't... yet)

anyway... merry christmas from NW Ohio

Snowmen and Candycanes...

2009-12-22T22:25:00.001-06:00

I think I just set a record for earliest gift-wrapping finish.

I've literally wrapped presents an hour before they are ripped open. Not this year.

Hoping to drive the Vue to Ohio.
Hoping the weather cooperates.
Hoping = praying.
I invite everyone to "hope" with me.

Merry Christmas

Andrew Peterson says it well...

"Sing out with joy for the brave little Boy,

Who was God, but He made Himself nothing.

Well, He gave up His pride,

and He came here to die like a man"

My Christmas gift to you...listen ... and be reminded and blessed of what we have to celebrate

SUSHI

2009-12-14T00:30:00.002-06:00

Love it...
I had it twice this week,
once in Wichita, once in Lawrence.

Most people think it's just "raw fish."

I used to think the same thing.

But then I actually tried it, liked it, and decided that it's much better than I thought.

So... the moral, my friends is, "Try it before you knock it."

My friends have fallen in love with this place in Lawrence...

Besides the sushi, I loved hangin' with this little lady, her mommy and daddy, and her nonnie. Notice the "I Love Sushi" bib that Uncle Jim bought her.

Giving of Thanks Day Thoughts

2009-11-26T23:52:00.000-06:00

I'd say I'm pretty honest, even self-deprecating at times. I'm one of the first to recognize when I've screwed up or in the wrong (not all the time, mind you... but most of the time), and am pretty motivated to either make things right or apologize where I don't have control or opportunity to change those things. I'm conscientious like that.

I'm riding a roller coaster these days of contentment and angst, peace and turmoil, joy and frustration.
I find myself frustrated by many unanswered questions, as if I'm entitled to more... entitled to God's immediate pandering to my dislike of waiting and feeling out of control. I don't really believe this, but I live and act as if God owes me something for my obedience and that I've somehow earned a reprieve from frustration because I throw Him some token nuggets of 'christian behavior.'

Anyway... I'm aware of how much I have to be thankful for today, and also aware that the only reason that I'm not more thankful and joyful these days is that I don't really know how good I have it.

I'm blessed and I'm spoiled.

Like many Americans (and many Christian Americans), I gripe about the inconvenience of so many things, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I am in a very slim percentile of privilege in a world of poverty...financially, for sure, but also spiritually.

And I have, thankfully, some renewed perspective today...

I listened to a lady share today about how she was thankful to be alive after battling cancer the last couple years, surviving the grim prognosis and short time table of doctors.
I've encountered tons of people (sadly, too many) over the last several years who are lonely and disconnected, and whose families do nothing but find fault and/or verbally, physically, and emotionally abuse.
I've seen people at shelters and begging on street corners and highways who have no home, no food, and only the clothes on their back.

So today (and hopefully, moment by moment, daily) I'm thankful for...

friends and family who love me and who are walking with me prayerfully through this season of transition.
health and the ability and opportunity to move and breathe and live without physical hindrances.
a roof, and not just a roof, but the comfort of life that many people don't experience- abundance of food, too many clothes, t.v., wireless internet... hot water...
a job that pays the bills
worth that is not based on what I do or what I know...

I told one of my former youth ~~kids~~ young men (now involved in full-time ministry) that I was struggling with the limbo I am in and frustrated by the lack of answers.

His response? "It's a good thing that your status as a son of the King is not in limbo."

Yep...perspective.

Thank you, Lord, for Your patience with this spoiled ~~brat~~ son upon whom You've lavished the riches of Your love and grace. Keep me mindful of the reality of Your perfect presence and provision.

Some guys have all the luck...

2009-11-14T00:05:00.000-06:00

Warning... discretion advised... not for the squeamish

So... adding more trophies to the "kill" list...

This little guy wasn't able to out-slither my mower, got frustrated, and lost his head.

On the home front...
The mouse trap has been empty. Maybe it's the new bait... broken fortune cookie.

Which is sad... because the fortune cookie said "Keep an eye open for an opportunity soon to arrive."
(i kid you not.... appropriate, right?)

I was sure it was talking about another mouse.

My little brother had to fill in the gaps... he sent this by phone. Like brother, like brother.

Another one bites the dust...

2009-11-08T16:40:00.005-06:00

Same song, second verse...

Ralph's cousin, Roger, got caught today. I'm beginning to think about starting a Saturday morning hunting show on ESPN, focused on rodent removal.

I would sign an endorsement with "Catchmaster" glue traps... yep, and for big bucks.

I'm not sure I'm ready to do this every day for the rest of the winter. The roomies and I may have to figure out some preventative measures to keep the little guys from committing suicide by getting within reach of my pest removal skills.

It's like fishing in a barrel.

Behind the wheel...

2009-11-07T18:57:00.006-06:00

Fixed the pictures....

A couple pics from my day driving limo...

Pretty impressed by the Patriot Guard today... their 'community,' their respect, their emotion, and the support of a grieving widow.

It's hard to describe the picture of so many bikes riding in procession behind the limo I was driving. I wish I could have taken a picture. I guess I'll always have one in my head.

I was also impressed by the respect of people as the funeral procession passed... some had their hands over their hearts; some just stood and watched; some saluted; all pulled over and waited. I thought that the whole "pull over to honor the dead" practice was, for lack of a better word, "dead." It was nice to see that people still pause in respect.

okay... that's entirely too much blogging in a 24-hour period...

Ralph S. Mouse...

2009-11-07T17:22:00.019-06:00

Did you ever read those books?

Growing up, I was pretty intrigued by Ralph S. Mouse, his life and his motorcycle.
I read a lot of books and Beverly Cleary's books were among my favorites...
(mostly the Ramona books, and, yes, Ralph S. Mouse, "Rodent Extraordinaire.")

Fast-forward several years and I find a couple things have changed. Clancy and friends (Tom, that is...with John Grisham, Robert Ludlum, et al.) have taken the place of Cleary. And, also, my fascination with rodents has been replaced by a deep disgust.

Those feelings of disgust were only confirmed and strengthened yesterday when I found a trail of turds criss-crossing my 'food shelves' in our house pantry closet. See Exhibits A, B, C...

This was actually the second day of 'evidence,'
so I pulled out a trusty glue trap from my stash,
piled some mouse-gnawed granola bar in the middle, and topped it off with a dollop of peanut butter.
Eat your heart out, Martha Stewart, Stuart Little, and any other 'celebrities' connected with food and/or fictional rodent literature!

And this is what I found this morning...

I'm happy to say that this little guy's motorcycle riding days are over...happier that the turd-laying, food-contaminating days are over.

Groundskeeping, Beard-keeping, and limos...

2009-11-06T20:04:00.008-06:00

For the last month or so, I have been working on over-seeding the lawns at Kensington Gardens. The new grass has been coming up well with the moisture, warm weather and sunshine that we're having.

But I have also been working on growing something else...

the beard.

Actually, this is not quite the reality.

I trimmed it a couple weeks ago, so imagine it a bit
more like this...------------->
(a bit, but not quite)

Some people pick their hair and leave the pick in.
I tried it with my beard. Let's just say that the
'chia-beard' is thick.

or was....

I was asked to be a limo driver for a funeral tomorrow...

so I trimmed the beard and the hair.
(not totally different from my 'day job'...
just a different medium to work with. )

Now... imagine this face, with a suit and tie, behind the wheel of a limo.

Yep... you guessed it...
the surreal life.

A 'tilted halo' song...

2009-10-29T22:33:00.003-05:00

I referred to this song in my last post...

It's always grabbed me, but more so tonight....

Come, Lord Jesus (click link...listen)by Andrew Peterson

Tonight in the line of the merchandise store
While they were packing up my bags
I saw the pictures of the prophets of the picket signs
Screaming, 'God hates fags'

And it feels like the church isn't anything more
Then the second coming of the Pharisees
Scrubbing each other 'til their tombs are white
They chisel epitaphs of piety

Oh, there's a burning down inside of me
'Cause the battle seems so lost
And it's raging on so silently
We forget it's being fought

So, Amen
Come, Lord Jesus
Amen
Oh, Amen
Come Lord Jesus
Amen

It's taken me years in the race just to get this far
Still there is no end in sight,
There's no end in sight
'Cause I've carried my cross into dens of the wicked
And you know I blended in just fine

Well, I'm weak and I'm weary of breaking His heart
With the cycle of my sin, of my sin
Still He turns His face to me and I kiss it
Just to betray Him once again

Well, I've got oceans down inside of me
I can feel the billows roll
With the mercy that comes thundering
O'er the waters of my soul

So, Amen
Come, Lord Jesus
Amen
Oh, Amen
Come, Lord Jesus
Amen

Tonight in the light of the gathering rain
I could hear creation groan
And a sigh rose up from the streets of the city
To the foot of Heaven's throne

Oh, and the people hear the sound of a sweet refrain
An absolution in the fray, in the fray
It tells of the death of the One for the lives of the many
More than any picket sign could say

So, Amen
Come, Lord Jesus
Amen
Oh, Amen
Come, Lord Jesus
Amen

yep... amen... let it be so

Tilted Halos...

2009-10-29T20:43:00.003-05:00

I'm reading Brennan Manning's Ragamuffin Gospel. I've had it forever, but have never picked it up. I'm glad I did. It's been a good read so far, four chapters in. And the last chapter, chapter four, was the best so far. It seems ready-made for this season of life and underlines some things that God seems to be speaking.

Have you ever made a little halo over your head when you were facetiously trying to convince someone of your 'angelic innocence?' It's a cute little maneuver that I've utilized on several occasions, complete with a sly grin and sometimes a wink. It's actually more an admission of guilt than anything, and seems to communicate, "I know I'm being ornery/difficult/bad, but let's overlook that because you love me."

Manning starts chapter four with a little story about a self-righteous guy who takes himself way too seriously. He goes to the doctor who tries to diagnose the cause of the man's headache. After piously and indignantly answering the doctor's questions about his lifestyle and personal habits, the doctor offers this advice... "Simple, my dear fellow! Your trouble is you have your halo on too tight. All we need to do is loosen it a bit."

Hmmm

Brennan's point is clearly made throughout this chapter...too many people- Christian people- are walking around with their halos screwed down so tight that they are 1) hurting themselves and their understanding of God's love and grace, and 2) they are completely irrelevant to a hurting world who have no illusions of wearing a halo, let alone having it on straight and tight.

"The tilted halo of the saved sinner
is worn loosely and with easy grace."

Hmmm

Do we Christians really understand what we're "peddling?" I become less and less convinced of that the longer I live. And that's not a calloused bash against 'the church.' That's a sad commentary on my own life as well. Too many people are falling through the cracks because we/I talk a good game, but don't necessarily live it.

The cute, 'angelic halo maneuver' that many Christians do stopped being cute to 'the world' a long time ago. The gig is up. We've been uncovered and exposed.

Andrew Peterson has a song lyric that says,

"And it feels like the church isn't anything more
than the second coming of the Pharisees,
scrubbing each other 'til their tombs are white
They chisel epitaphs of piety"

I just feel like life has become a lot less "black and white" and "messier" than it used to seem. That's not a factor of TRUTH changing, but rather the reality of life when you are rubbing shoulders with people going through heavy, heavy stuff (let alone my/our own 'stuff'). Cliche, pat answers just don't carry a lot of weight in 'real life.' But for some reason, I/we haven't had the guts to admit that.

Part of the problem is that too many people-christian people, who claim to have the answers- are living with tight halos and cliche answers. And not just the tight halos and cliche answers.... but the lack of joy, the petty bickering, and the same hangups (albeit hidden) that 'the world' is condemned for struggling with.

Been there/done that... unfortunately.

"We" have tried to throw token answers and quick-fixes at people with gaping holes in their hearts and lives, and then wonder why some people aren't giving church and God a chance, or having given it a chance, are leaving faith and fellowship disillusioned and dissatisfied. We throw out the right verse or say the right thing, but seem to live as if we don't really believe it ourselves.

Having been a leader in the church, that's hard to admit. But admitting that weakness, although hard, is part of the reality of the "tilted halo" isn't it?

So what?

So... we/I need to get real. We/I need to get serious about living grace, not with tighter halos, but more sensitive ears and eyes and hearts.

Manning describes 'getting serious' this way...

The disciple living by grace (rather than law)...
1) ...trusts in the redeeming work of Christ and lives it by moving from 'mistrust to trust' with God, others and himself/herself.
2)...is characterized by a 'poverty of spirit' where he/she is deeply thankful for life and all God's favor, leaves others feeling blessed and esteemed (instead of judged), and lives in healthy humility
3)... lives in honesty, rejecting manipulation and deception, living transparently, and admitting limits even while rejoicing in a God who works without limits.

Hmmm

and now... my favorite paragraph of chapter four (Manning quoting a book by Donald McCullough)...

"Grace means that in the middle of our struggle the referee blows the whistle and announces the end of the game. We are declared winners and sent to the showers. It's over for all the huffing, puffing piety to earn God's favor; it's finished for all the sweat-soaked straining to secure self-worth; it's the end of all competitive scrambling to get ahead of others in the game. Grace means that God is on our side and thus we are victors regardless of how well we played the game. We might as well head for the showers and the champagne celebration."

Hmmm

Much to think about....much more to apply... personally and corporately.

amen... let it be so.

Current Employment

2009-10-13T21:41:00.002-05:00

So...

this is the organization I work for. I didn't know that they had a website before today. They have more beautiful pictures of where I work than I have shared (or taken). Yep... this is the place. My first day, my boss said that keeping it beautiful is a way of helping people who are grieving. So... i guess it's sort of a continuation of my "ministry career."

Good people...although I wouldn't have ever imagined working for them. God works in mysterious ways in obscure jobs.

The word for this season of my life continues to be s-u-r-r-e-a-l (read "crazy limbo")

Wingfeather Saga Book Two: Fangs Strike Back!!!

2009-09-16T20:29:00.012-05:00

I’m finding that Hollywood has a shaky record on sequels of late. The days of classic sequels like “The Empire Strikes Back” or the more recent “LOTR: The Two Towers” seem few and far between. The ‘2nd edition’ has too often been an opportunity to try to make an easy buck, piggy-backing on the buzz of the first movie by simply regurgitating or recycling a tired plot, and then jazzing it up with overdone action, CGI, or heightened skin exposure and sexual tension.

A good sequel is hard to come by.

An drew Peterson, however, distances himself from the Hollywood norm (let that be the understatement of the century), and brings a quality sophomore book offering, something for which I am thankful.

A side note…
AP is one of my favorite music artists and lyricists, a man who loves God and his family, and who values and esteems people. He is someone who I‘ve found can get lost in the moment, sidetracked by a funny story or tangent thought, and is quick to not only draw attention to, but laugh at his miscues. He also speaks, writes and sings deeply out of his own journey, and invites people to journey with him. He has never disappointed me in concert; never let me down with a new album. I listen to his music for 3 reasons… beautiful musicianship, lyrics that grab you with richness and depth, and the winsome sharing of a heart and life through music and words that you can relate to personally.

And now that he is delving into the waters of fantasy adventure novels, I’m finding that he doesn’t disappoint there, either.

AP’s latest book in the Wingfeather Saga Series, North! Or Be Eaten was not only much-anticipated, but became the kind of ‘can’t-put-it-down,’ ‘keep-me-up-late-at-night-tired-for-work-the-next-day’ book that I was hoping it would be. I reread book one, On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, to prepare myself for the sequel and to reacquaint me with the characters and story. I took OTEoTDSoD on a three week trip abroad knowing that when I got home, N!OBE would be waiting.

The Igiby Family adventure picked up seamlessly from the end of book one, with the family on the run from the Fangs of Dang, hiding in the tree house of their brother-in-law and uncle, Artham Wingfeather, Throne Warden of the Kingdom of Anniera (aka Pete the Sock Man). Their stay in Glipwood Forest is short-lived, as they are flushed out of their hiding spot by a determined army of Fangs, and hurtled forward in an adventure that gains momentum with each turn of the page.

(For those who haven’t read On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, not only is it a must read, but it introduces you to Podo Helmer, his daughter Nia Igiby, and her kids Janner, Tink and Leeli. It even tells you why Leeli’s dog Nugget is GINORMOUS, and why they are running for their lives from lizard people from another part of the planet, Aerwiar. It also tells you that the Igiby’s have a very special family history, a fact that is responsible of all their trouble with the Dang Fangs…

…so if you are out of the loop, read the first book… you can also go here for some background and helpful info)

N!OBE is definitely a notch above the first book in terms of action and adventure. The tongue-in-cheek commentary is still there, to some degree, but N!OBE is a little faster hitting. AP introduced readers to the world of Aerwiar and its inhabitants in book one, and seems to 'get after it' a bit more in book two.

Enter Gargan Rockroaches, bomnubbles, caped crusaders, and even a group of people called Stranders that are an evil, knife-wielding cross between the Herdmans (“The Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever”) and the hillbilly "Darling family" (picture right) from the Andy Griffith Show. The Stranders play a pivotal role in the Igiby story and, we discover, have a curious connection to their past.

Enter suspense and betrayal, sacrifice and loss. Be ready to ride the rollercoaster of emotion as you follow the characters through hairpin plot turns and unforeseen twists. There will be at least a few moments where you fear for the lives of characters you grow to love, and hope for the demise of characters you come to despise. Heroes and villains...isn't that what makes a good story? (by the way...AP not only sets the stage for book 3, but also gives enough intriguing back story to make me think that the Wingfeather Series should have a prequel or two...)

The Igibys are joined on the adventure by Oskar N. Reteep, the owner and proprietor of Books and Crannies (a novelty bookstore in Glipwood Township, boasting the most complete collection of books and history of the people of Skree). Oskar brings his 'master of the obvious' quote repertoire to the journey, and is responsible for a LOL moment as I read.

_____________________________________________________

another side note...

One thing that I like about AP’s writing, both musically and now in his novels, is its flexibility. The books, for sure, and several of his songs have their light and whimsical side. The books can be read for pure entertainment and enjoyment. But there is the ability, too, in both music and literary realms to take a listener/reader quickly and effortlessly beyond the temporal to the eternal, while still being something tangible and relate-able. AP's flexibility, in that sense, make his 'art' attractive to kids and adults, alike, in different ways and in different settings. (And something I've found for sure... sometimes it takes a couple listens/reads before I realize that AP is communicating on a much deeper plane than I first realized)

Case in point: One can read the books as an opportunity to spend some quality time with kids, reading a great and entertaining book at bedtime... or whenever. (It's obvious that several families do just that with the Wingfeather Series).

Or... it is easy to go to a deeper level...
-the Igiby family are exiles from a distant kingdom fighting for survival in a place that is not 'home.'
-the growing pains of Janner and Tink, hesitant to know how to live out their true identities,
-the classic saga of 'good vs. evil' is the all-encompassing reality that creates the adventure

While the Igiby family has arisen from the creativity of AP's brain, it is not hard to put ourselves in their shoes and their adventure. The world of Aerwiar is a picture of ours and the story is a creative look at the lives and adventures of all who are 'pilgrims in a foreign land,' longing for home and for wholeness. The characters' challenge of identity mirror our own struggles to live with dual-world citizenship and identities that are far deeper than what we do for a living, what our national flag looks like, or what color our skin is.

___________________________________________________________

I hate to write more about the story itself, for fear of giving away the twists and turns of the plot. But suffice it to say, N!OBE was worth the wait, worth the late nights , and well worth supporting someone who knows how to produce a quality sequel.

Well done, AP! Thanks for letting us inside the creative adventure of your mind and heart. Bring on BOOK THREE!

Thanks to publicist Kelly Blewett for the opportunity to review the book!

It's Here! Hope is here!

2009-09-12T19:27:00.015-05:00

You can imagine how people respond when you say that you're going to spend almost 3 weeks in the Caribbean... a roll of the eyes when you mention that it's a "mission trip"... a groan of jealousy... an incredulous look that says, "seriously?"

yep...seriously.

On this side of my trip with Operation Mobilization on board the Logos Hope, I'm still processing the impact of an amazing and encouraging experience. I was deeply blessed, had my eyes opened to a pretty neat and, previously, unknown context for ministry. I also was blessed with a new network of godly people from some 43 countries.

OM has found a unique niche ministry in ports all over the world by visiting countries by ship. This spring, they finished work on the latest edition to their fleet, the Logos Hope, a former ferry boat from the Faroe Islands. The Logos Hope set sail in Europe and is now visiting the islands of the Caribbean, bringing "knowledge, help, and hope."

I was invited on this adventure by friends, Jim and Shirley
Goering, attenders of GCC where I used to serve, and
supporters of OM's ministry. (They have great hearts for God
and for people, and regularly travel to serve).

There are 350-some people on board, serving in a variety of ways-- from the 'deck crew' who help ensure the safety and reliability of the ship's operations, to the 'line up crew' who enter port cities to prepare the way months before the ship, to the 'galley and pantry crew' who serve some 1500 meals a day. That's only a fractional view of the amazing ministry taking place on board, not to mention the teams that go ashore to serve in churches, schools, and neighborhoods.

The Logos Hope has an entire deck (Deck 4) set aside for visitors. People enter the boat and purchase books from a bookstore (offering thousands of titles), hear about the ministry of OM globally, and even can buy ice cream or snacks in an onboard cafe. Throughout their time on board, these visitors have several encounters with crew members who are looking for opportunities to bless, encourage, and share eternal 'hope' with them. I was able to be with the ship on its visits to Grenada and Tobago. 43,500 people visited in St. Vincent (the port before Grenada), and close to 23,000 in Grenada. They were still coming to the ship in Tobago when I left.

I served in the galley/pantry and
then helped greet and talk to
visitors on Deck 4. Both experiences
were a blessing, and a neat look
at people using their unique gifts to serve.
And that was the lasting impression...
the "gifts of the body" in so many ways contributing to the whole of the ministry.

Another opportunity I had was to show how out of shape I was by playing with the soccer ministry team. 14 people from the ship went and played against a local club team. After the game, one of the guys from the Logos Hope shared his testimony and encouraged the young men and women to think eternally about what God has in store for their lives. I was able to 'encourage' a young man by allowing him to juke me... my ministry heart at work...

I was deeply blessed in a time of worship led by people from 10 different nations... a vivid illustration of Revelation 7...

⁹After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne
and in front of the Lamb.They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.¹⁰And they cried out in a loud voice: "Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb."

And... they even sang The Happy Song... here's a short preview from the band warmup...

I had some great times with Jesus... sunset devotions on deck, witnessing the amazing beauty of our "God of Wonders," and being blessed and challenged through testimonies and sharing of some very godly people...

yep... seriously...

and one final glimpse that sums up the beauty and blessing of this trip... (compliments of another gifted crew member- the ship's photographer)

A Preview of blogs to come...

2009-09-02T21:08:00.005-05:00

So... the blog has been silent of late... for good reason.
I'm still getting used to blogspot...
I haven't had time to blog...
I moved...
I left the country for almost 3 weeks...

But, so that I can set some goals, as well as give interested people hope... here's a preview of things to come.

...a recap of my trip to the Carribbean with OM Ships (www.om.org) aboard the Logos Hope

... a book review of Andrew Peterson's latest offering in The Wingfeather Saga series.

So... for all you faithful and patient, yet frustrated, readers.... stay tuned.

My new life...

2009-07-20T17:34:00.006-05:00

I haven't totally got used to blogspot yet, but am working on it. I wasn't completely satisfied with Xanga's offerings, and I know many use BLOGSPOT, so...

My life and schedule have changed dramatically in the last three weeks. Gone are the days of Letterman, Conan and double episodes of Seinfeld. I'm in "earlier" to bed/early to rise mode as I enter my third week of work at a cemetery in Wichita. It's been nice to be outdoors, except on those 107 degree days. It's actually been pretty pleasant the last few work days.

It's good and weird to have to clean dirt out from your fingernails.

It's good and weird to pack my lunch every day with a thermos jug of water.

It's good and weird to see more deer and rabbits than people throughout the day.

It's weird to have to check my email solely on my phone or at a coffee shop (as opposed to "my" office)

It's just good to be doing a job where you can see immediate results for your labor. I find myself needing that after several years of ministry with people.

It's weird to live in the same town but not see most of the people that I've done ministry with for the almost 1/3 of my life.

Anyway... change. Not all bad... not all good.

here's some pics... landscaping work and John Deere toys that fill my days... my tractor certification and obstacle course in FFA as a high school freshman is paying off.

yep... life looks a little different. I'm finding that increased mower/Gator/car make for increased prayer time. That can only be good.

It's almost 6 p.m. and I feel like I could go to bed soon... yep... change

A new season... a new blog

2009-07-15T17:17:00.000-05:00

change is the name of this season...

and here's a new blog to chart the course

happy trails